Please can you answer my question - poetic device query.?

Question:I always used to write poetry, with 'end stop' rhyming- usually rhyming couplets and this poem was an attempt to shift the emphasis onto the succeeding lines. It is bugging me, there is a name for this sliding onto the next line kind of thing. Can you help?

FRIENDSHIP IS YOU AN ME

Friendship is you and me and the years
of finishing sentences, and noting fears
no on else could comprehend
that threaten to paralyse. When you send
your quiet sympathy with loving eyes
and greet old revelations with surprise.

Friendship is woven delights and cares
of past and future years, when we compare
inner thoughts and exchange dreams
of grandiose and unrealistic schemes.
When each day brings unexpected treasures
resonant with anticipated pleasures.

I’m reconciled to life’s sorrows and flaws
as long as friendship such as ours endures.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I always used to write poetry, with 'end stop' rhyming- usually rhyming couplets and this poem was an attempt to shift the emphasis onto the succeeding lines. It is bugging me, there is a name for this sliding onto the next line kind of thing. Can you help?

FRIENDSHIP IS YOU AN ME

Friendship is you and me and the years
of finishing sentences, and noting fears
no on else could comprehend
that threaten to paralyse. When you send
your quiet sympathy with loving eyes
and greet old revelations with surprise.

Friendship is woven delights and cares
of past and future years, when we compare
inner thoughts and exchange dreams
of grandiose and unrealistic schemes.
When each day brings unexpected treasures
resonant with anticipated pleasures.

I’m reconciled to life’s sorrows and flaws
as long as friendship such as ours endures.

Although some people use the term "enjambment", there's also a perfectly good English expression, "run-on", which pairs with "end-stopped". Run-on lines aid the melodic flow and help stop that "schoolboy recitation" sound, where each line is delivered as a monotonous unit by itself.

When most of your rimes are perfect, you need to have a good poetic reason why others are not, for it makes those imperfect rimes sound merely incompetent. "Cares/compare", for example, is a poor rime, yet you have only nine syllables in line 7, meaning one to hand, so you could have written

"Friendship is woven [in/through/with] delight and care
Of ..."

and using the singular with the added preposition gives you a perfect rime for the following line. Likewise, the closing couplet does not rime: "flaws/endures" jars somewhat, and is neither rime not assonance nor consonance.

Your use of 14 lines suggests you're trying out the sonnet form, but sonnets are iambic pentameters, yet several of your lines are noticeably short, one of only seven syllables, to an extent that makes it sound awkward on a recital. For example

" ... when we compare
inner thoughts and exchange dreams"

could be written as

" ... when we compare
Our inner thoughts and we exchange our dreams"

The rhythm of the penultimate line is very awkward. As these two lines are the culmination of the poem, you may want to re-think and rewrite these as a true iambic pentameter couplet.

This is a commendable effort, which succeeds in many other areas than those I've concentrated on here.

The poem I like, the answer is not from me. Perhaps the Dr.s' will show to show the way

You're referring to "enjambment," the continuation of the poetic thought into the following verse. You've done it in this poem.

I see what you mean. It is irregular. Does it work? I think so. TD

Nada from me on whatever the word is...
but Elaine's .....enjambment!

Wonderful word...am going to steel/steal it! Thus said, the poem is, indeed a warm one for the start of a rather chilly morning!

enjambment - continuing the "sentence" or phrase (or whatever) over the end of the line. it's tricky to write rhyme with, i've found, but can be very effective, as it makes the rhyming less harshly obvious. you've done quite well in this poem, although there is still some endstopping. a mix tends to work well.

and, if you care, when you pause in the middle of a line (e.g. 1/4 in your poem - the fullstop) it's called a caesura. you often get caesuras just before enjambment.

Your poetry is amazing. Not only are your thoughts crisp and clear, but so is your rhyming, musical. You make it seem effortless. What comes to mind here, is a combination of enjambment and internal rhyme. I hope I helped. I'll be looking for more of your work, as it has inspired me.

Your 'run-on' lines or 'enjambed' if you'd prefer do work just fine. However, a little tip for you - think carefully about the slight 'gap' it projects in reader's minds and consider whether this is the right point to run on the line.

I think line 11-->12 works very well with the "resonant" conjuring up the imagery promised from "treasures". However, line 2 with its start of "of" sounds a little clunky. Read it through in your head and use your judgement.

Enjoyable poem, thanks.