Any comments on my new poem?

Question:Larger World

The tapping of metal to plastic balls
Tells me he’s out practicing his golf
Swings and strokes;
Seems he’s completely stoked over
The re-discovery of an old love.

The clickety-click of my keys tells him
I’m caressing an old love of my own;
Writing poetry, visiting hidden worlds
Inside my office computer; re-awakening
Dormant joys long forgotten.

In pursuit of old loves;
Like an artist applies paint to canvas
And creates new landscapes,
Our world is suddenly
Becoming larger.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Larger World

The tapping of metal to plastic balls
Tells me he’s out practicing his golf
Swings and strokes;
Seems he’s completely stoked over
The re-discovery of an old love.

The clickety-click of my keys tells him
I’m caressing an old love of my own;
Writing poetry, visiting hidden worlds
Inside my office computer; re-awakening
Dormant joys long forgotten.

In pursuit of old loves;
Like an artist applies paint to canvas
And creates new landscapes,
Our world is suddenly
Becoming larger.

I think it's really good how you discribed such a feeling in only one short poem. I just love how you put it together.

wow...i could never have written something like that!

waste of time

An Ode to Golf...what rhymes with golf?

WOW that is really good
BRAVO

I like that it doesn't rhyme. :)

"Visiting new worlds" and as "an artist applies paint to canvas," very apt expressions of the poetic experience. I have a nephew named "Rolf." I swear it's true.

Ah, but quiet evenings on the deck, a Chrystal glass, a bit of cheese, can flavor and stoke those old discoveries!

Uncomfortable; deceptively mellow; laden with suggestive imagery; evoking the senses; good use of onomatopeaic language. I don't really like "re-awakening dormant joys long forgotten," for various reasons:

* "re-awakening...dormant" has an antique feel incongruent with the otherwise contemporary feel.
* once we know the joys are "dormant" do we really need the extra "forgotten," or especially "long" forgotten? What does "long" forgotten really mean? ten years? Fifty years? A thousand years?

Other than that one complaint, I was very taken withthis subtly written and unsettling poem.

forget the new Hobie get a new Hubie,
just kiding i think it's good

You write of reality that works! Enjoy what is, and express it
in joy! Bravo!