Another poem. What do you think?

Question:Too Late

Your sorrow is tucked away
under false laughs and smiles
you ignore it day by day
and up and up it piles

Now you're forced to face
The years of pettiness and deception
You refuse to admit your mistakes
and simply look in the other direction

You betrayed your loving family
all for a moment of passion
You left us all in agony
and showed no trace of compassion

Well now you're falling apart
in the prison you created
you want to make a fresh start
but our sympathy for you has faded.

You dug your grave of loneliness
when you brought him through the door
and now you face the concequences
and you can lean on me now more.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Too Late

Your sorrow is tucked away
under false laughs and smiles
you ignore it day by day
and up and up it piles

Now you're forced to face
The years of pettiness and deception
You refuse to admit your mistakes
and simply look in the other direction

You betrayed your loving family
all for a moment of passion
You left us all in agony
and showed no trace of compassion

Well now you're falling apart
in the prison you created
you want to make a fresh start
but our sympathy for you has faded.

You dug your grave of loneliness
when you brought him through the door
and now you face the concequences
and you can lean on me now more.

I think it's quite good.
If you read it aloud and fixed a couple parts, it would be a great poem.
Nice work:)

Love it

youza! your good and should try out for those kinda contests!

Great poem, good message.
Well done you.

Cheers!

that poem helped me [=. thank u soo much. its amazing and very well writen. Bravo

brilliant! genius! :)

you are very good, loved it, blue

I like this A LOT! A perfect picture of a family member who brings chaos and pain home to ravage the others and over the passage of years undermine the family's confidence & trust. Then finally there is little support and the resultant erasure of their ability to care at all. Very sad and very well written. The only improvements I might suggest are just minor.

There is a lot of repetitive "you's" and "your's" (14 of them) in this piece so to break it up a bit and get away from all the repetition,(because it's distracting when there's too many of the same word or phrase over and over) I suggest slight changes in a couple of the lines to remedy the repeats. Such as:

Line 9: Betrayal of a loving family,
Line 10: All for a moment of passion,
Line 11: Left us all in agony
Line 12: With no trace of compassion.

Line 15: Wanting to make a fresh start

Line 19: Consequences must be faced;
Line 20: You can lean on me no more.

Very nice work.

OMG THIS IS EXELLENT!!!!

Its Life