Should I just chuck it in the garbage can now?

Question:Or is it a good enough start to keep working on it? I just can't seem to get settled with this one:

Untitled for now:

Gazing out my window,
I see nothing there,
Just spiritless hollow spaces.

I could run for miles,
Yet still be chained
To this town that doesn’t love me.

Nothing is here for me
I have to close my eyes
To see the bright lights I ache for.

But what is holding me back?
The moonlight hits my window,
Showing my own reflection.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Or is it a good enough start to keep working on it? I just can't seem to get settled with this one:

Untitled for now:

Gazing out my window,
I see nothing there,
Just spiritless hollow spaces.

I could run for miles,
Yet still be chained
To this town that doesn’t love me.

Nothing is here for me
I have to close my eyes
To see the bright lights I ache for.

But what is holding me back?
The moonlight hits my window,
Showing my own reflection.

This has some nice lines in it. You may want to open with your strongest part:

I could run for miles,
Yet still be chained
To this town that doesn’t love me.

That feels like your true opening to me.

This is a good start. You don't want to chuck it.

I hope you don't mind I want to show you what some minor edits would do:

I could run for miles,
Yet still be chained
To this town that doesn’t love me.

Gazing out my window
Of spiritless hollow spaces,
Nothing there.

I have to close my eyes
To see the bright lights I ache for. (these lines are excellent)
Nothing is here.

The moonlight hits the window,
Showing my reflection,
Holding me back.

Very minor edits. You are not far away with this piece.

I hope that helps.

Best,

Todd

No! Don't chuck it!

This is pretty good. You made your message very clear. Although, it must be a really small town for each person to dislike you. TD

No chucking allowed!

It's actually very good. It does seem unfinished though. I especially like that last stanza. It is very telling and the imagery is great. It has great potential.

Good Luck

I like it when you write something more nostalgic like the last one lol. Its good though, keep working on it if you have to, maybe try it from a different light, not so down lol, more like you're dreaming of brighter things to come.

never, ever chuck. lock in closet for years, yes; stuff under growing pile of papers for a decade or two, yes. but that wastepaper basket never claims a poem.

this in particular is definitely not chucking material. listen to the others ^, especially Todd and TD.

This is far from garbage. I loved the lesson learned. The opnly thing holding us back is........well........us. Well done.

NO! Don't chuck it! I completely understand what you are talking about in your poem. You live in a town where you feel you don't fit in. I completely understand!

Never, EVER chuck something that you write from the heart.

I wouldn't throw this out
While gazing out of my window
I don't see anything there
Hollow spaces that are spiritless

I could run for miles
however I would be chained
due to there is no opportunities

There is nothing here for me
as I have to close my eyes
The bright lights I see, are one I ache for

But what is holding me back
preventing me from getting ahead
As the moonlight hits the window
I see my own reflection.