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Position:Home>Poetry> Poems from nothing... would you care to see?Question:Waiting on Sky In rhapsody of mind and feet I wait on bended knee Begging to the goddess pleas Reveal sweet strength to me If all my doom I would soon send To all that would not lend an ear Not one would dare my wrath defend The Sirens Teeth are bared! _ Saying I’ll Try Plant a lie and let it sprout I will not let the demon out Burry truth and hope to hide The truth will grow and dash the lie Forget your soul and soon you wilt And all the balance within tilt But I am here for guiding light If only you could hold ME tight Upon my heart the heat be laid And in my mind the kindness fade If I step out through that door I won’t come back here anymore _ I know they do not make sense but I was board waiting on an answer to my witch poem! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Waiting on Sky In rhapsody of mind and feet I wait on bended knee Begging to the goddess pleas Reveal sweet strength to me If all my doom I would soon send To all that would not lend an ear Not one would dare my wrath defend The Sirens Teeth are bared! _ Saying I’ll Try Plant a lie and let it sprout I will not let the demon out Burry truth and hope to hide The truth will grow and dash the lie Forget your soul and soon you wilt And all the balance within tilt But I am here for guiding light If only you could hold ME tight Upon my heart the heat be laid And in my mind the kindness fade If I step out through that door I won’t come back here anymore _ I know they do not make sense but I was board waiting on an answer to my witch poem! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... 'Board' or 'bored?' There is a stiff penalty if you used the wrong one. "Waiting on sky" 'Pleas' or 'please?' Entreaties or satisfaction? "on bended knee" Yawwwwwwwn. "lend an ear" Sorry, Shakespeare used this one four hundred years ago, and when the Romans did lend Marc Antony their ears, he never returned them. It will not please me to listen to your pleas. You can't get away with using this cliche,' the bored of directors will not allow it. Feet, knee, ear, teeth. Obviously this should be accompanied by organ music. It really is a very fine poem with many possible interpretations. That's what makes you a real poet. Just because I am nothing more than a clever hack, it does not prevent me from recognizing good art when I see it. "Saying I'll try." "Burry"=having many burrs. "bury"= put into the ground. Either one could work. Which do you want? First line,Stanza II. I think "you'll" works better. Another that makes sense in so many ways. After reading several of your works, I am becoming more and more certain of two things. #1- You are a brilliant poet-in-the-making. #2- Your grammar is weak and your spelling sucks. But I gotta love you, warts and all. P.S. No more prefatory excuses or disclaimers. Don't tell us how we should view your poems. P.P.S. I think you have no clue as to how good you really are. hey you shoul post these on lyrics.com! theyre really good! |