This is a poem I wrote a while back. Criticism is welcome.?

Question:"black wings II"

In my hour of reckoning,
judgement day is here.
Drawing me into her arms,
the day just fades away.

Cloak me with your jet black wings,
mark my words, remember me.
Sweetly how she takes my hand,
chasing away all of my fears.

Mistress to so many, beholden to on one,
a ring of needles marks our love.
An engagment that lasts forever,
but consumation never comes.

Morning dawns gray ashen sky,
my demon becons to me.
Stumbling into solitude,
towards an eternity of decay

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "black wings II"

In my hour of reckoning,
judgement day is here.
Drawing me into her arms,
the day just fades away.

Cloak me with your jet black wings,
mark my words, remember me.
Sweetly how she takes my hand,
chasing away all of my fears.

Mistress to so many, beholden to on one,
a ring of needles marks our love.
An engagment that lasts forever,
but consumation never comes.

Morning dawns gray ashen sky,
my demon becons to me.
Stumbling into solitude,
towards an eternity of decay

Very strong indeed. Once she's caught you, she holds on with all her might.

cool onederful lines there

Wow. Strong piece you have here.

i like it

I like it. Give it two thumbs up.

its perfect Steve.. xoxox