Your critiques please...good or bad..thanks.?

Question:I have seen the light although
It took me years
To clear my brain and see the light for
What it truly meant.

They take your money and leave you poor to
Scrape for scraps
By those fortunate enough to help you, or at least
Feel good in their off and on hearts.

Thanks for the diapers and the toilet paper and the
Ice that turned sour
And melted at the waste of millions of your dollars,
Not theirs.

Thank you for dying in the prime of your life as you are
Told you saved us all,
And in turn here is your medals and the quarter of a million
Dollars for your greiving family

Who will suffer every day forever, and ever, and ever.
What child was born
In 2003 that will die in a war in 2021 no matter who
Is the leader of the 'free'.

Unjust is the word, and will forever remain so as time
Passes with a
Leader that will stain history with unjust blood and guts
With a closed casket

To spare the family of the fallen with the disgust of their torn
Son or daughter.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I have seen the light although
It took me years
To clear my brain and see the light for
What it truly meant.

They take your money and leave you poor to
Scrape for scraps
By those fortunate enough to help you, or at least
Feel good in their off and on hearts.

Thanks for the diapers and the toilet paper and the
Ice that turned sour
And melted at the waste of millions of your dollars,
Not theirs.

Thank you for dying in the prime of your life as you are
Told you saved us all,
And in turn here is your medals and the quarter of a million
Dollars for your greiving family

Who will suffer every day forever, and ever, and ever.
What child was born
In 2003 that will die in a war in 2021 no matter who
Is the leader of the 'free'.

Unjust is the word, and will forever remain so as time
Passes with a
Leader that will stain history with unjust blood and guts
With a closed casket

To spare the family of the fallen with the disgust of their torn
Son or daughter.

I love the poem... it's very good!!
It caused me to feel many feelings...anger at the government, and at the fools who start wars but have never been through one. Sadness for the families of those who have been lost, and for those who's lives were given... or more like thrown away to prove a point! I have a son who is a soldier, he has been to Iraq once already, and now is being prepared to return again! I spent 26 years of my life loving and protecting my children... and now, I have no control of their safety. As a mother, it rips my heart apart to know that I cannot change what happens... My only solice is the ability to hand that responsibility to God, and trust that He will make sure my son returns to us safe and sound!

Hum, very political, sad but true. I personally do not much care for it, even though i do think that it is a very good poem. I think that a lot of people will like it.

Why '03 and '21?

I think the last line is particularly bold. I think I'd like to see more contrasts and juxtapositions throughout this poem. Why just hit hard at the end? Maybe the medal can be a "scap of tin pinned to your corpse, for the effort". Just for fun, maybe the medal can be made in China?

Nice poem, by the way.

i'm sorry, i have to say i do not understand your line nor the catch that i'm supposed to have.

i felt that you trying to be cynical in this poem, yet it's not well enough to make it sounds like beautifully cynical.

but anyway, that's according to me, a person who have nothing whatsoever in poet's career.