Poem,Good?,Plz Rate?

Question:1-10 Rate plz

From The shadows...
emerged the dark
i,who found the whole thing to be foul,
lost all trace of good in my heart.
The rain falls from the West,
Thinking of the day...that you left.

Pain and Sorrow fills my Soul,
The pain aches so much..
thought i'd never let you go..
the sorrow builds inside me

like a Sparrow of Thorns
Flew through my Heart,
Bleeding it out

Comes the day of Pain and Sorrow For Eternity...For Me..

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1-10 Rate plz

From The shadows...
emerged the dark
i,who found the whole thing to be foul,
lost all trace of good in my heart.
The rain falls from the West,
Thinking of the day...that you left.

Pain and Sorrow fills my Soul,
The pain aches so much..
thought i'd never let you go..
the sorrow builds inside me

like a Sparrow of Thorns
Flew through my Heart,
Bleeding it out

Comes the day of Pain and Sorrow For Eternity...For Me..

I like it. It's sad, and melancholy. I think I give it a 6.5/10 because I'm not comfortable with the grammar and punctuation. Otherwise, I think the message is clear. Thanks!

definitely a sad one... someones out of love?

Sad, but deep and good. I enjoyed reading it, and it really describes my feelings sometimes. Great job.