My New poem !!!!!!! One of my first, is it good?

Question:Writers block!!!?
I was exhausted from crying and wailing for aid
My throat was swollen and dry
My eyes were red from weeping
And when that terrible beast came after me,
I thought I was going to die

But then I saw you my savior,
Right out the corner of my eye
When I saw you beat that dog,
Again I started to cry
These were not the tears of freight,
But were the tears of joy
I noticed you would love me forever
And our love was not a toy

Our love is not a game
.......

not sure what to write for the next line, or how to finish off the poem. It is a poem from the book their eyes were watching god on the part where janie was being attacked by the dog while on the cow, and tea cake came to her rescue. you do not have to have read the book 2 help ME!!!!
18 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 second ago

I was exhausted from crying and wailing for aid
My throat was swollen and dry
My eyes were red from weeping
And when that terrible beast came after me,
I thought I was going to die

But then I saw you my savior,
Right out the corner of my eye
When I saw you beat that dog,
Again I started to cry
These were not the same tears of freight,
But conversly the tears of joy
I noticed you would love me forever
And our love was not a toy

Our love is not a game
And no matter how deep is the pain
It will never weaken our strength
And our love will always be the same

is this good, does conversley make sense in this context?????

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Writers block!!!?
I was exhausted from crying and wailing for aid
My throat was swollen and dry
My eyes were red from weeping
And when that terrible beast came after me,
I thought I was going to die

But then I saw you my savior,
Right out the corner of my eye
When I saw you beat that dog,
Again I started to cry
These were not the tears of freight,
But were the tears of joy
I noticed you would love me forever
And our love was not a toy

Our love is not a game
.......

not sure what to write for the next line, or how to finish off the poem. It is a poem from the book their eyes were watching god on the part where janie was being attacked by the dog while on the cow, and tea cake came to her rescue. you do not have to have read the book 2 help ME!!!!
18 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 second ago

I was exhausted from crying and wailing for aid
My throat was swollen and dry
My eyes were red from weeping
And when that terrible beast came after me,
I thought I was going to die

But then I saw you my savior,
Right out the corner of my eye
When I saw you beat that dog,
Again I started to cry
These were not the same tears of freight,
But conversly the tears of joy
I noticed you would love me forever
And our love was not a toy

Our love is not a game
And no matter how deep is the pain
It will never weaken our strength
And our love will always be the same

is this good, does conversley make sense in this context?????

I was exhausted from crying and wailing for aid
My throat was swollen and dry
My eyes were red from weeping
And when that terrible beast came after me,
I thought I was going to die

(this poem is only telling. You're not showing the reader whats happening... and you leave the reader confused as to what is really happening in this poem... Instead of telling me you're exhausted, show me you are. What would an exhausted person do? Why did you think you were going to die? You have to build up to this, not just spring it on the reader. You're not letting us feel the way you're feeling. You can't expect the reader to know what you're talking about simply because you, as the writer, does. WE DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT... treat us like idiots.)

But then I saw you my savior,
Right out the corner of my eye
When I saw you beat that dog,
Again I started to cry
These were not the tears of freight,
But were the tears of joy
I noticed you would love me forever
And our love was not a toy

Our love is not a game

(Who is your savior? At first, I thought you were referring to your dad or something, but later you suggest its an intimate relationship, so that does not sound right. And how is your love NOT A GAME? Show me how its not. What do you do and how do you feel when you actually love someone? SHOW ME don't tell me... ANd what is the deal with the dog? You need to use foreshadowing to explain this. TO me it was like: "when did the dog come in? hmmm???)

overall pretty good try using a little more imagery and not just be so blunt with it. kind of sad and depressing but good

Poetry is personal-this seems personal to you-it's cool. You can take a feeling you have or reflect on a moment or experience and show it.