What do you like or not about this?

Question:Drugs, drugs, drugs,
Drugs beneath the tarp of flesh,
Drugs, drugs, drugs,
Drugs like a velvet dart to the heart,
Drugs in the food and the mail,
Drugs at my deathbead in a pail,
Drugs, drugs, drugs

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Drugs, drugs, drugs,
Drugs beneath the tarp of flesh,
Drugs, drugs, drugs,
Drugs like a velvet dart to the heart,
Drugs in the food and the mail,
Drugs at my deathbead in a pail,
Drugs, drugs, drugs

Little dragon boy just won`t guit.He`s looking up all of my
poems and is mocking me . Slugs, slugs slugs. That was my
poem a couple weeks ago. He is stalking me to the point
where he needs to be locked up. He copies peoples hard
work . He gives everyone thumbs down. He looks up my
work them changes the words a little. He`s a fake and a
phony. Whenever i answer him he cuts off his answer so
nobody can comment after me. What he doesn`t seem to
get is that all of my contacts and his are seeing what a dumb-
*** he really. He told me I was a poor excuse for a human being. Look in the mirror. I feel sorry for you for being.so sad
and hating people that you don`t even know. Just so you
know, I volunteer In a nursing home and rescue unwanted animals. That makes me a poor human being? I own a 128lb
Bull-Mastiff/Am-Staff. Want to meet her.? I don`t think you can
manage it. She Is trained for protection. I was a K9 security
guard. I`m also a biker. I ride a Harley. Now you know a little
about me.
l

What I like about it: Nothing.
What I don't like about it: Everything.

If you are gonna make a poem about drugs, make it more passionate..include how the addiction is, how it gnaws at your soul..something deep..

Antidote, antidote, antidote. Self-control; self-control; self-control. Better luck next life.

You don't know anything about drugs do you?
You make it seem so simple, you take drugs and you die.

Well thats not how it is, you can get addicted, and go out of your mind if you don't get them, and if you get them you don't act like yourself, and put everyone around you through hell. Get some experience and try it again.

Reminds me of something Allen Ginsburg might have written. Keep going.

what i like about it is that it is pointless....things that are pointless can come across as funny...funny things gets a lot of acknowledgment unless your a grumpy old person....but this poem is pointless but to a point where the person who is reading it know what your talking about

Loved the meta in this hon<3

Drugs are everywhere you turn, very insightful @)~>~

Pen On my friend *^_^*

And you commented on my poem about using repetition?!?!?

It's too repetitive, it doesn't really say anything or stir me to any kind of emotion exept perhaps pity.

Repitition is like salt. Too much salt.

Honestly, I've been scanning through peoples poems and came across a few of your critical comments -fair play- and decided to see your work. I'm new to this whole 'giving other people advice' thing. It seems hardly fair to 'fix' anything about a persons work, poetry is different for everyone and some put part of themselves into their writing. But reading this I feel nothing for you. I can't imagine anything. And no it isn't because it's short and repeatitive. I'm not sure if you meant this poem to be so cold? If so, is that your view on drugs? That they're emotionless? Because ofcourse, that is a load of.. I don't want to read it again, BUT is this all just a spin? Your an addict who knows the dull life they lead, and you feel nothing for drugs. It's just a foot to you? Hmm.. well I won't ponder for too long.