I made this on the spot.....???

Question:As days go by i wonder and wonder,
does the miles between us make us differ,
even though you have me cuaght,
i break free from your wonderful gaze,
i look into your eyes and think,
do the miles between us differ?

what do u think im only 13 so dont h8 just giv me hintz

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: As days go by i wonder and wonder,
does the miles between us make us differ,
even though you have me cuaght,
i break free from your wonderful gaze,
i look into your eyes and think,
do the miles between us differ?

what do u think im only 13 so dont h8 just giv me hintz

Not bad for a 13 year old

I like the part of wondering
if being miles apart matter
and be different
I don't think it matters

I think it's a great start.

I suggest that you look it over and think about how to improve it. You have a good message and the poem should try to convey it in the best way possible.

Look at your spelling and subject-verb agreement.

Then...put it away in a folder (so you don't lose it!) and leave it for a week. Let your infatuation with your work die down a little so you can gain objectivity to come back and really polish it into a gem of a poem.

Good for a 13 year old,
keep writing I think you could be great,
you dont seem to have the usual
13 year old 'emo' soppyness,
theres something more to you,
keep it up :D

As days go by i wonder and wonder,
do the miles between us make us differ,
even though you have me caught,
i break free from your wonderful gaze,
i look into your eyes and think,
do the miles between us differ?

This is pretty good for a 13 year old, you could consider adding poetic techniques to make it a bit more complex maybe? (alliteration, metaphores, personification, oxymorons etc..)

not bad AT ALL, just wondering, where did you experience such deepness to pin it down?

well done.......!!!!!

encore!!!