Enough love poems back to hell. How is this.?

Question:"i don't want to"

I'm drowning in my own deep despair,
sometimes my life is just not that fair.
Blood seeps from the walls deep in the night
adding to my deep dark frozen fright.

Abandon hope who enter here,
walk through this door, I feel tears.
A long road down to hell and back,
The more that I find the more I now lack.

I've not the courage needed to survive,
If this were a fight, I would take a dive.
I don't even want to fight in this war,
Then when I turn here comes only more.

Please take me now, while I still breathe,
the man that I am is no longer your Steve.
He has taken leave of all of his sense,
floating down Hells deep dark swift currents.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "i don't want to"

I'm drowning in my own deep despair,
sometimes my life is just not that fair.
Blood seeps from the walls deep in the night
adding to my deep dark frozen fright.

Abandon hope who enter here,
walk through this door, I feel tears.
A long road down to hell and back,
The more that I find the more I now lack.

I've not the courage needed to survive,
If this were a fight, I would take a dive.
I don't even want to fight in this war,
Then when I turn here comes only more.

Please take me now, while I still breathe,
the man that I am is no longer your Steve.
He has taken leave of all of his sense,
floating down Hells deep dark swift currents.

gr......*growling like heck* the lasts two words of the last two lines do rhyme! you people don't have any imagination! or you just don't know rhyme when you see it hidden! geez....
i like this one bro....it's back to the dark side....i read it over and it sounds even better than when i first read it....i love it....i cant stop reading over it again and again....you and Kara are competing for my attention! i gave her a 100! *growls out of frustration* ok.....i just need to give you a 150.....i love both but i really love this one.....you always always amaze me....
you truly are the master...*bows*

Oh my gosh. I Love this poem!!

I could see you floating down a river of blood.

I think it's pretty good.
Nice work:)

Nicely done. You write simply yet powerfully. Good job.

last two end words don't rhyme. if your gonna rhyme a poem then make sure they all rhyme. or else it kind throws you off track when your reading it in your head.

nice

It's certainly good...but you need to work a little bit on your rhythm..otherwise job well done! [:

I think I like this one quite a bit. I flows well, it is back to your "dark" side, even if you love poems were OK. I think I will study it. Thanks. Hope you get over your injuries soon.

it made me very sad......
but as always .... well written...
stay in the fight!
-g-lo

...please Steve, you don't have to do this alone. I am here for you... Always no matter howfar away you are

You know I am not a fan of gothic poems, so I won't say I entirely enjoyed this. But, as always, there were moments.
(Last line needs reworking - sense and currents - could go together but the meter is wrong - you are forced to pronounce 'currents' as curRENTS which jars. Perhaps leave out the word 'swift' - dunno.
How about something 'deep'?
He has taken leave of all of his senses
Plunged into Hell. No more pretenses.
Bye

I love to walk on the dark side. Great.

Unique twist from love to dark poetry. Is a good poem but as I told you before I'm not into dark poetry.