Some opinions on a poem I wrote?

Question:Body cut in half,
Lying on the floor.
Echo of a laugh,
Hidden in a drawer.

Arms are now outstretched,
Reaching for the door.
Looking for the rest,
Need to search some more.

Grasping on the handle,
Fighting through the war.
Open it a little,
We'll go back to before.

Found the missing part,
No need now to explore.
Put it back together,
Fix the broken core.

Pain has finally ended,
No crying anymore.
Laughter now erupting,
The music found its score.

The souls soon become one,
Raindrops start to pour.
Wings are now expanding,
Love can finally soar.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Body cut in half,
Lying on the floor.
Echo of a laugh,
Hidden in a drawer.

Arms are now outstretched,
Reaching for the door.
Looking for the rest,
Need to search some more.

Grasping on the handle,
Fighting through the war.
Open it a little,
We'll go back to before.

Found the missing part,
No need now to explore.
Put it back together,
Fix the broken core.

Pain has finally ended,
No crying anymore.
Laughter now erupting,
The music found its score.

The souls soon become one,
Raindrops start to pour.
Wings are now expanding,
Love can finally soar.

I don't quite understand how stanza 4 fits into the entirty of your piece. Though it's attempting to be playful and coquetish, "we'll go back to before" halts the progression of the narrative voice...

Honestly stanza 6 could easily be removed to make for a much stronger poem. Love appears to be a neglected afterthought and holds little/NO prominence at all.

I do however like the bulk of the piece. I like it, make me LOVE it :)

not bad! i would give you a four star...

has potential,i really like the theme.you should go pro =]

xoxo?blondie?

It's not bad, but I don't really understand it.......I must be missing something...

well.. it got some 'it' thing though i didn't know what's the meaning of your poem clear enough.

lovers come, lovers go
one day you'll find, one day you'll know
life's so wide, and so broad
just take the ride, against all odd

It's dark and very sad. A lot of abstract internal strife in there, all leading towards lack of love and conflict with society. I like it!