The Rain never felt better... would you read my Poem?

Question:TearDrop

The diamond drops fall and shatter
But the pieces do not always cut
Sometimes they sooth and calm the flutter
Of my beating center
My eyes emulate the falling moisture
With a breaking flood their own
I lift my head and my tears mingle
Seamless with the falling rain
The salt and sadness
Joy and ever humming pain
This is the day I grow my wings
But in the drench I will not soar
For on the ground I find all my peace
A simple sparrow
Nothing more

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: TearDrop

The diamond drops fall and shatter
But the pieces do not always cut
Sometimes they sooth and calm the flutter
Of my beating center
My eyes emulate the falling moisture
With a breaking flood their own
I lift my head and my tears mingle
Seamless with the falling rain
The salt and sadness
Joy and ever humming pain
This is the day I grow my wings
But in the drench I will not soar
For on the ground I find all my peace
A simple sparrow
Nothing more

In an otherwise perfect little gem of a poem, I saw a single flaw. The word "emulate" sounded like a clinker to me. This and another word caught my attention. But "drench" stood out for the novel way in which you converted it to a noun. That strengthened the thought, "emulate" did the opposite.

[This has absolutely nothing to do with what I said above, it's just another product of my warped mind: "If the ostrich could come here on time, why is the emu late?"]

I am a bitter, cynical person so this is a lot coming from me.

I really, really liked it.

Good job.

Wow. I thought it was impressive. I really liked your use of opposites to set the theme. Joy and pain. Diamond drops that sooth, not cut. Very good. I like "this is the day I grow my wings, but in the drench I will not soar." This really has a great rhythm to it.

Wow, I really like this... it's pretty amazing!

exelent job well done

that is really good, so much feeling, you have a talent here! keep it up!

The simplicity cries out in its' own voice to be heard... this one is getting more of a response then your other one and I think it is better...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

A marvelous look into the abstract and small... we all have felt like this at some point...

I like the first one better but this one is pretty in its simpleness...

Wow, this even made bitter, cynical people like it. That's always the sign of a good poem, when someone not only opens up about their work, but opens up about themselves. This one made me feel like the sparrow, actually, the lowly bird that no one notices, whispering out its song, being mocked by the sun and damned by the rain. But at the same time, in that place of being unnoticed, becoming stronger and wiser and realizing that though it cripples me, I am free to love the beauty of it, free to live for that crystalline moment and feel the diamond tears of the moon shattering across my face, leaving no mark but a scar upon my heart.