Later....poetry?

Question:i am studying to become a journalist.my mentor gave me the word "later" and said write a short poem...comment and tell em if it's worth her time...

Later,
Gone in the wind. Forgotten by those who don't want to
Believe in what really is. Soon they will leave, only to
Come into a world of pain. Bloodshed will take over the minds of some thing so pure.

Later
In life, the world will halt. The cycle will brake and we will crumble under the pressure. Society will fall into a black abyss. Graving hold, never to loosen its grip. Squeezing until all your strengths is taken, and killed in front of your eyes.

The time is now, never later.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i am studying to become a journalist.my mentor gave me the word "later" and said write a short poem...comment and tell em if it's worth her time...

Later,
Gone in the wind. Forgotten by those who don't want to
Believe in what really is. Soon they will leave, only to
Come into a world of pain. Bloodshed will take over the minds of some thing so pure.

Later
In life, the world will halt. The cycle will brake and we will crumble under the pressure. Society will fall into a black abyss. Graving hold, never to loosen its grip. Squeezing until all your strengths is taken, and killed in front of your eyes.

The time is now, never later.

I think its really good. I love your use of figurative language.

*Check out my poetry!

I think its awesome! And so true too!

they are really good!
i like the second on the best

GREAT

It seems more prose than poetry. It also seems forced and borrowed. I think you should try again.

Ok, I love both of them, but I think I like the second one the best.