| Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> Yesterday's attempt at an erotic poem, expanded, what think you?Question:"Journey To A Kiss" My fingers graze their trail Down back Over buttocks, continuing Thigh Back of knee Circle ankle And return, a more sensitive route: Ankle, gently as a whisper To knee Circling, circling To inner thigh Tease On way to flat stomach Tracing muscle Patient Move to valleys ‘tween perfect peaks Caress More teasing Then on to neck Softly, delicately Trace pathways of nerve impulses On their way to brain’s pleasure center— Apply kiss: Brush lips against lips Gentler than dream, than fantasy of dream And float across cheek Echoes of breath barely heard As neck Sensual, smooth and divine Is moistened with tongue and lips You beg in silence Lobe too is engulfed in warmth of mouth Essence of who I am I linger Brush back over cheek To eyes Windows to the soul Delicately anoint each with my breath And my silent words Before coming Finally To your mouth Which I enter And we mingle Time stops Desire swells Arousal peaks We meld…. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "Journey To A Kiss" My fingers graze their trail Down back Over buttocks, continuing Thigh Back of knee Circle ankle And return, a more sensitive route: Ankle, gently as a whisper To knee Circling, circling To inner thigh Tease On way to flat stomach Tracing muscle Patient Move to valleys ‘tween perfect peaks Caress More teasing Then on to neck Softly, delicately Trace pathways of nerve impulses On their way to brain’s pleasure center— Apply kiss: Brush lips against lips Gentler than dream, than fantasy of dream And float across cheek Echoes of breath barely heard As neck Sensual, smooth and divine Is moistened with tongue and lips You beg in silence Lobe too is engulfed in warmth of mouth Essence of who I am I linger Brush back over cheek To eyes Windows to the soul Delicately anoint each with my breath And my silent words Before coming Finally To your mouth Which I enter And we mingle Time stops Desire swells Arousal peaks We meld…. Absolutely brilliant. Not a word is in the wrong place, the line lengths and the gaps put just so. What more can I say. (being an old lady, I was reluctant to look - in case I was shocked.....I've led a very sheltered life) But far from it. Erotic - yes, pornographic - no. I had to take a trip to the bathroom after reading. I like it subtle, yet sexy!!! Very good! wOW bABY! Sorry but the way it is written in semi-shorthand makes me think of an instruction manual. lol WOA!! great poem, you added meaning to that, you showed love and gentleness!! I love it!! Perfect 10/10!!!!!!! GREAT POEM!! KEEP WRITTING!! Have a great day (and week)!! :) I am picturing my Beloved now hehehe.......how romantic and exotic and passionate and caring of the lover to his beloved.................................... Mutual love and admiration of love shared by two lovers in love........for eternity I hope............... THAT'S A KISS!?!?!?! Not only a kiss... but THE JOURNEY TO ONE!?!?!?!?! Well, Mister, I've never been kissed, that's frickin...... there aren't any words. =^-^= After all that, i reckon i should say..., job well done , lol! ......................................... ~*WinglessAngel*~ You know, I'm a practicing Christian, and until I read this I thought it was impossible for erotic poetry to be artful and romantic. I rejoice that I was wrong. Very good work. Only this: a couple of phrases seemed to be lifted out of a medical textbook -- not romantic. Is there some archetype you could use to represent pleasure or the consciousness of pleasure? This works for me. What, you practiced last night? Excellent. Each time you seek to write a verse Joy expands me, I could burst. Agony, sweet agony, I feel at first Cries and groans, talk gets terse Unless I have that sweet small death Life must stop, I'll hold my breath. All my senses feel the tension That brings release that no men shun. Ecstasy! At last arrives, like Etna with a hot eruption. That was totally hot and very erotic and you brought it almost to a life of it;s own .Bravo for the beauty in your wonderful poem. *melting* Good for not to go further. a topic i'm very fond of my dear friend...more of this stuff. Wow, I really like this one. Well written, great imagery, wonderful poem. Very nice work:) just read your religious books do not waist ur time as well as money |