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Position:Home>Poetry> A dream of lovely "you"?Question:On the banks of the Nile, sitting all alone nothing but the breeze the flowers ,......and the moon there she appears.............. eyes full of tears................................ "who are you?"................... I whispered.......... she softly answered .. "i am you".................. my heart beats died since years.... i wondered , and why are your eyes full of tears?" "From your dreams I came ................ but what a shame ....................................... the glory of love has gone ............. to be replaced by the bomb and the gun!".............. Shamefully I turned around........... putting my head in the ground.................... mankind wars are not my fault you know looking back, she was gone but her words will remain .. a brighter future will be my aim! thanks to "you" Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: On the banks of the Nile, sitting all alone nothing but the breeze the flowers ,......and the moon there she appears.............. eyes full of tears................................ "who are you?"................... I whispered.......... she softly answered .. "i am you".................. my heart beats died since years.... i wondered , and why are your eyes full of tears?" "From your dreams I came ................ but what a shame ....................................... the glory of love has gone ............. to be replaced by the bomb and the gun!".............. Shamefully I turned around........... putting my head in the ground.................... mankind wars are not my fault you know looking back, she was gone but her words will remain .. a brighter future will be my aim! thanks to "you" Sorry, but you had something very special unfolding until you brought in the bomb and gun line, etc. The last two stanzas plust the lead in to them need rework in my opinion. You owe it to the rest of your beautiful poem. Very unique. I think it's pretty good. Nice:) It's interesting. I think you could redo the putting my head in the ground to something else and it would make a little more sense. I like it really. |