One from years ago, any comments?......

Question:Angel

Would you believe me,
that I've seen an angel?
What if I said...
I looked into his eyes.
So tired and weak.
In so much pain,
I seen my angel.
I was ready to give up,
to lay and die.
Even the darkness
was crushing me.
With all my strength,
I couldn't even smile.
My thoughts betrayed me.
Your no good,
A worthless being.
But then...
I seen my angel,
My little one.
A precious babe,
In my arms.
You looked up at me.
I then...
looked into the eyes of an angel.

I know it needs work, all suggestions welcome. I forgot I even had it, lol. Thanks all:)

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Angel

Would you believe me,
that I've seen an angel?
What if I said...
I looked into his eyes.
So tired and weak.
In so much pain,
I seen my angel.
I was ready to give up,
to lay and die.
Even the darkness
was crushing me.
With all my strength,
I couldn't even smile.
My thoughts betrayed me.
Your no good,
A worthless being.
But then...
I seen my angel,
My little one.
A precious babe,
In my arms.
You looked up at me.
I then...
looked into the eyes of an angel.

I know it needs work, all suggestions welcome. I forgot I even had it, lol. Thanks all:)

Well first off, yes I would believe that you saw an angel. You know this is a beautiful piece, and yes I think it could use a bit of work, although I really don't have much in the way of suggestions. I will say this though. there have been several of mine I wrote long ago, that I have recently looked at and decided to rewrite. The rewrites to me far better than the original as far as I was concerned. I feel my writing has improved over the years and I see the difference. Older writings of mine look and sound "childish" to me where as today they seem more mature. I think this is one only you will be able to rework. Let me know what you come up with, I am quite curious to see.

Awww, I almost cried! It's so good! I loved it! It's a really nice poem. I like how it has the sadness to joy and comfort. Are you a mother?

Awww! if you are you should read it to them when they're older. ^__^

It's beautiful with just two corrections needed. I saw an/my angel and you're and that's it. It's so lovely. Great job.