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Position:Home>Poetry> Honest Answers and opinions please?Question:Gusty Winds, Pouring rains disaster struck four states Severe weather for Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas and Mississippi A tornado leaving 48 dead and hundreds of others injured as the wind blew over the stores and shopping malls only parts of the buildings lingered Trees that came crashing down many bodies and people were found “We had a beautiful neighborhood, now its hell” as one man from the sight yelled A man tried to retrieve his brother to a near hospital and the wife said that, “he never had a chance,” “I looked him right in the eye and he died right in front of me” and sadly people had to search for their dead family People’s memories and buildings came tumbling down their life’s work and vision for themselves was now a dream diminished and never found Passions for life and everything ahead lies desolate Debris and rubbish all piled up pictures and money worth a lot had been drowned in this quake of fear this deathly and scary tornado that came here Its time to look for a new house new jobs and better health to get over what has happened in the past but we will always have in memory this deadly catastrophe unfortunately this tornado won’t be the last Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Gusty Winds, Pouring rains disaster struck four states Severe weather for Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas and Mississippi A tornado leaving 48 dead and hundreds of others injured as the wind blew over the stores and shopping malls only parts of the buildings lingered Trees that came crashing down many bodies and people were found “We had a beautiful neighborhood, now its hell” as one man from the sight yelled A man tried to retrieve his brother to a near hospital and the wife said that, “he never had a chance,” “I looked him right in the eye and he died right in front of me” and sadly people had to search for their dead family People’s memories and buildings came tumbling down their life’s work and vision for themselves was now a dream diminished and never found Passions for life and everything ahead lies desolate Debris and rubbish all piled up pictures and money worth a lot had been drowned in this quake of fear this deathly and scary tornado that came here Its time to look for a new house new jobs and better health to get over what has happened in the past but we will always have in memory this deadly catastrophe unfortunately this tornado won’t be the last I like it, however I think perhaps you could do a bit of work on some parts of it, to make it better. The last stanza is 6 lines where the rest are 4 lines. It would be better if all stanzas followed the same format (# of lines). Five of the stanzas have a rhyming scheme to them, where the forth and last stanza do not, again all your stanzas would be better if they followed a same pattern (format). It is good though. A tornado disaster is not necessarily an easy thing to write a poem about. |