A Dive: Care to Comment?

Question:Here I am once again
The community pool
What shall I attempt
So that I'll be seen as cool
Ah yes here's a stunt
And it shall be a hit
Off of the high diving board
I'll do a front flip
I climb up on top
Then call out to my friends
Then I leap, and do the flip
Barely a splash, perfect ten
As I get out people point
And they call me a fool
Then I look back, only to see
My swimming trunks still in the pool

"It's shrinkage!!"

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here I am once again
The community pool
What shall I attempt
So that I'll be seen as cool
Ah yes here's a stunt
And it shall be a hit
Off of the high diving board
I'll do a front flip
I climb up on top
Then call out to my friends
Then I leap, and do the flip
Barely a splash, perfect ten
As I get out people point
And they call me a fool
Then I look back, only to see
My swimming trunks still in the pool

"It's shrinkage!!"

You caught me! I read the whole thing from the top! Shriveled punch lines are back in vogue? "Off of the" seemed to not flow meter wise for me and "I climb up on top" is mundane as it seems this is where you want to build more expectation. This is a keeper though.

Years back, swimming competition, I won...because that gal racing next to me...(who was wearing a two piece suit) lost the top. Your poem brought back fond memories of that day!

The old Peggy Lee classic comes to mind.....

haha! love it.

Nice

You have what looks like a good hard fastball and breaks at the last moment. It was only because I responded to the question about imagining myself naked in front of a crowd, that I had a clue. I am in total agreement with neonman regarding "off of the." Such a small but egregious error is going to cost you points. And don't give me that bull about "shrinkage." If you show it you own it. So a half point off for each; this judge gives you a 9.0.