passage?

Question:I wrote this the other day...

"Through The Eyes"

It’s through the eyes that love enters the body, did you know? You’d look at me, and I’d look back, but only for a moment. That second, that blissful instant, our souls mingled, together. But I was selfish. I took some of it with me into my heart. I kept it safe there. And then again, our eyes would meet, this time, a little longer. I would surrender to your gaze, but snap back almost immediately. How I suffered, wanting your eyes to peer into my heart and see what I see; feel what I feel. I will continue to live like this, in love with you, in secret. Maybe one day, you’ll see; maybe one day, you’ll feel; maybe one day, it will be ok.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I wrote this the other day...

"Through The Eyes"

It’s through the eyes that love enters the body, did you know? You’d look at me, and I’d look back, but only for a moment. That second, that blissful instant, our souls mingled, together. But I was selfish. I took some of it with me into my heart. I kept it safe there. And then again, our eyes would meet, this time, a little longer. I would surrender to your gaze, but snap back almost immediately. How I suffered, wanting your eyes to peer into my heart and see what I see; feel what I feel. I will continue to live like this, in love with you, in secret. Maybe one day, you’ll see; maybe one day, you’ll feel; maybe one day, it will be ok.

*DELUDING CONTINUES....* joey, it's nice. I like it. I can really feel your pain when i read it...i can also feel mine...

I like it.
If you worked on the structure and meter, it would be very good.
Nice work:)

Very nice.

i like it. it seems like your hiding ur emotions behind ur eyes and ur heart. it will be ok; someday. i agree and i needed that. Thank you.

I luv it. Very...moving. good job

it was really good. :)

I like it, and can relate to what you're saying.

thanks for shareing.

I like it. More of a passage than a poem though.

My fav part:
But I was selfish. I took some of it with me into my heart.

Good work

too much interruption with the commas and run on sentences, but a nice thought.

it's very lovely and really u must take the chance and tell him how u fell instead of suffering like this. Try it, he may feel as shy as u and if he doesn't feel the same , then u need to stop wasting ur life on something that will never be. Good luck sweetie.

wow, very moving.

That is like...

My jaw hit the floor.

I am for once speechless.

I have no words, this has never happened to me before (to qoute Drew Barrymore in "Never Been Kissed".)

Good job El Chango, never have I read anything so beautiful.

very nice ,you should tell him that poem !