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Position:Home>Poetry> Just thought I would see what you all thought this poem I wrote.?


Question:Dark,Dispair
Turn her away
Forgot the things
She ment to say.

Blood, Rain
The feelings set free
Trapped in her prison
To many years to be.

Hidden, Beaten
She dosen't know
Just an empty shell
No where left to go.

Left, Affraid
In her darkened mind
No emotion
Nothing left to find.

Torn, Forgotten
All the things dreamed
She is no where
nothings as it seemed.

Broken, Defeated
As she is now
Never ended
She never knew how.

Run, Fall
She sat at night
The sobbing tears
She tried to fight.

Cry, Death
Thats how she'll be
Wait around
I'll let you see.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Dark,Dispair
Turn her away
Forgot the things
She ment to say.

Blood, Rain
The feelings set free
Trapped in her prison
To many years to be.

Hidden, Beaten
She dosen't know
Just an empty shell
No where left to go.

Left, Affraid
In her darkened mind
No emotion
Nothing left to find.

Torn, Forgotten
All the things dreamed
She is no where
nothings as it seemed.

Broken, Defeated
As she is now
Never ended
She never knew how.

Run, Fall
She sat at night
The sobbing tears
She tried to fight.

Cry, Death
Thats how she'll be
Wait around
I'll let you see.

I love it. It feels so dark and sullen, and it makes you almost shutter in fear. Then you realize, "Hey, I can somewhat relate to this!" I like how there are no powerful words in here, but you make them seem powerful. This is a very well written piece.

very angst-y
but i like it
for all it's
darkness

aah. it scares me.
but it's good.

I like this poem. It sounds like the profile of a battered woman. She cried the tears of death? If that is what you meant, it is very beautiful, and yet so sullen... great job ^_^
~*WinglessAngel*~

I think it's good. Also good that you can get out your emotions and what happened to you. Most people can't do that.
I guess the term I would use for this one is 'dark'.
I guess that's how it was for you.
Happy to hear you're not in it anymore.
good work.....

Very nice. And I hope you still believe in the power of your words Love.





xxxK

I think it's pretty good.
The reason and time you wrote it, makes it great.
Nice work:)

cry.death.thats how she'll be utill i find the light ,, and its then,, i will be free I like it but you cant have him win you must over come and be happy again