| Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> How did this poem come out?Question:PLEASE keep in mind that im only in the 8th grade. TRY not to make me cry again like you people have done before well here it is---- The Hardest Part of falling down Is getting back up Wiping the tears off your face The Hardest part of falling down Is the fear of falling again Sinking father and farther down The Hardest part of falling down Is turning around without a care And to dodge the glances of nasty eyes The hardest part of falling down Is to try again knowing it can happen again and again Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: PLEASE keep in mind that im only in the 8th grade. TRY not to make me cry again like you people have done before well here it is---- The Hardest Part of falling down Is getting back up Wiping the tears off your face The Hardest part of falling down Is the fear of falling again Sinking father and farther down The Hardest part of falling down Is turning around without a care And to dodge the glances of nasty eyes The hardest part of falling down Is to try again knowing it can happen again and again Looks pretty solid. The only suggestion I might have is to cut out slight repetitions. My edits would be: Second verse: The hardest part of falling down Is the fear of falling again Sinking further and deeper (rather than repeating further) 3rd: The Hardest part of falling down Is turning around (simplified) And dodging the glances of nasty eyes (rolls off the tongue a bit easier) Last: The hardest part of falling down Is to try again Knowing I might fall once more or: Knowing I might fail (something other than again and again, you want a strong last line) Anyhow, looks like you're off to a great start! not that good, you need to revise and make it more in depth... |