Will you please read my new poem and tell me what you think?

Question:Iam the sinner, the outspoken,
who was laughed upon as
the self proclaimed savoiur
I sneer at the words filtered through a confessional
The idols with stony heart do not comfort me
I kneel in their presence
With a blasphemy on my lips
The wounds on my hand bleed,bleed
Who do i believe in?
My god,my betrayer...

Iam the convict,the rebel,
With black face and pure heart
bearing the weight of their sins.
I stand on the pedestal of their accusations,
Feeling their hate pierce into me
Faceless,nameless,they wait,
with lips smacking and
eyes filled with hate and lust
to prey uon the rebel.
The harsh gravel pronounce the sentence
But am i really guilty?
My judge,my executioner...

Iam the insane,the cursed,
With flashing eyes and flying locks
They burn my pophetic verses.
I shout at the skies and laugh wildly
as i see you toil day and night
You seal you ears against my truthful words
How am i to save you?
My enemy,my friend...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Iam the sinner, the outspoken,
who was laughed upon as
the self proclaimed savoiur
I sneer at the words filtered through a confessional
The idols with stony heart do not comfort me
I kneel in their presence
With a blasphemy on my lips
The wounds on my hand bleed,bleed
Who do i believe in?
My god,my betrayer...

Iam the convict,the rebel,
With black face and pure heart
bearing the weight of their sins.
I stand on the pedestal of their accusations,
Feeling their hate pierce into me
Faceless,nameless,they wait,
with lips smacking and
eyes filled with hate and lust
to prey uon the rebel.
The harsh gravel pronounce the sentence
But am i really guilty?
My judge,my executioner...

Iam the insane,the cursed,
With flashing eyes and flying locks
They burn my pophetic verses.
I shout at the skies and laugh wildly
as i see you toil day and night
You seal you ears against my truthful words
How am i to save you?
My enemy,my friend...

Honestly? It completely freaked me out. Hat's off to you for making me react. You made contact, even if it was to make me jump. That's ten times better than a "I think it was really nice". You went deeper and it was memorable. Good work.

yeah, i think thats very good. But why wont anyone write anything happy for a change? its a much bigger challenge, and really could show if you're good or not.

It is very well written and very powerful, I enjoyed reading it.

very striking poem! it really engages the reader, well written! beautiful in it's way,

keep it up!

Self doubt, unrelentless rollercoaster of emotions, geedy...self centered...fullfilled yet empty...uncertain and proud, shaken and stirred. Possibilities of inifinite hours resting on your shoulders for the end of days, haunting and shrouding pain and pleasure. Is this circle complete or another day to be lived as with every day and every person and every soul that inhabits your deepest corners of your mind?

It's so dark. I think it's well written but I must agree with the first poster. Why can't someone like me write about good things? I'm not a great poet, far from it but I can write about happy things.

You write so deliciously, I love your style.

The convict cursed, flashing eyes and flying locks, my verses the prophecy slaying the sky, and you my friend, how do i save you so, you my foe.

It's fantastic