Poem I wrote awhile back. Say what you will about it.?

Question:Inside she’s dying
She’s so sick of crying
And she can’t keep trying..
She’s losing it
Wants to give up, quit
When will she be ready to admit?...
Losing grip, can’t hold on
Left bleeding on the cold lawn
No saving, she’s already gone...
Darkness cast over her, took her away
She can’t find the path, she’s astray
Her world of colors are white, black, and gray...
Bandage the pain, as though it’s enough
She could never imagine life this tough
Tossed around, why must it be so rough?
Save her, and bury her pain
Remove the shackles, and the chain
Hold her, never do this to her again....

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Inside she’s dying
She’s so sick of crying
And she can’t keep trying..
She’s losing it
Wants to give up, quit
When will she be ready to admit?...
Losing grip, can’t hold on
Left bleeding on the cold lawn
No saving, she’s already gone...
Darkness cast over her, took her away
She can’t find the path, she’s astray
Her world of colors are white, black, and gray...
Bandage the pain, as though it’s enough
She could never imagine life this tough
Tossed around, why must it be so rough?
Save her, and bury her pain
Remove the shackles, and the chain
Hold her, never do this to her again....

i think this is a very good and in inquisitive poem. and what i think it means is that shes trust wants to be treated like an adult and keeps getting torn down, and know that she knows what being older feels like all she wants is to be a kid again and for someone to protect her

dude thats kind of sad

Emo?? haha, jk

Good job, but it is kind of a weird ryming format, like it should be
a
b
a
b
c
d
c
d
e
f
e
f
g
g
repeat
(line a rymes with line a, and so on)

You seem to have put your heart and soul into writing this, as if you were the person whom you write of.
One has not to notice that this is not set out in any set poem style, but one has to read it as an open story, a plea for help. To write like this one has to be the subject, one has to feel her pain and anguish at the harsh realities of her life, the fact that she has been betrayed by someone, and that someone has to make amends.

Robert

i loved it! It shows lots of emotion and sorrows that people actually feel.
I can kind of relate to it!
Very good!!!
keep it up!
=D
much love,
Joy

Wow i love it . It captures pain and sadness so throughly. BUT it also captures revival. It is a awesome poem.

I THINK THAT IT'S EMO BUT I LIKE IT BECAUSE MY PEOMS ARE TWO