It's a litte long...but opinions please?

Question:The sun sets, and my feelings rise.
It's so normal, I am not surprised.
As the memories surround me, I drown in my tears,
I write and speak to myself softly to calm my fears.
The back round music only makes things worse,
the lyrics hypnotize me, they are such a blessing but also a curse.
I live for the songs that explain my life to me,
Keeps me constantly looking for those lyrics and the sweet melody.
By now, the tears are vigorously falling as my heart beats and sets out for its calling,
"please save me" it says as it mends its wound.
It sets out for a savior under the dim light of the moon.
My body shivers, and asks who caused so much pain to me,
it asks who has the key to save from this misery.
Love is the answer, the chorus cries,
it's what gives you wings, makes you fly.
Then answer me, why am I so far in the ground,
So far deep and yet to be found.
My hand trembles as it writes down my thoughts and what I'm feeling.
In hopes of finding light and healing.
The sun beings to rise, and my eyes start to close,
another long night, as the cold wind blows.
Chilling me and once again reminding me of the past,
leaves me wondering why it went so fast.
I lie awake again, while the sun is high,
hoping today will be the day I move on and manage to get by,
but as the sun begins to fall hour by hour, my hopes grow dim.
Looks like the cycle will repeat once again.
The clouds turn beautiful shades of purple and pink.
It's so beautiful to me, I dare not blink,
and as the sun sets, and the tears fall,
my heart begins its nightly call.
Hope diminishes, as do I,
it's happened again, I break into full cry.
Come back my sun, bring me the light,
give me a reason to want to fight,
bring me sunlight no more of this night.
And like magic the light comes to me,
bringing me hope, setting me free.
Thank you, God, for sending me strength and light.
You gave me love, instead of the dark cold night.
No more tears, even as the sun sets, I will not set with it,
I will rise, and my happiness will be kept.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The sun sets, and my feelings rise.
It's so normal, I am not surprised.
As the memories surround me, I drown in my tears,
I write and speak to myself softly to calm my fears.
The back round music only makes things worse,
the lyrics hypnotize me, they are such a blessing but also a curse.
I live for the songs that explain my life to me,
Keeps me constantly looking for those lyrics and the sweet melody.
By now, the tears are vigorously falling as my heart beats and sets out for its calling,
"please save me" it says as it mends its wound.
It sets out for a savior under the dim light of the moon.
My body shivers, and asks who caused so much pain to me,
it asks who has the key to save from this misery.
Love is the answer, the chorus cries,
it's what gives you wings, makes you fly.
Then answer me, why am I so far in the ground,
So far deep and yet to be found.
My hand trembles as it writes down my thoughts and what I'm feeling.
In hopes of finding light and healing.
The sun beings to rise, and my eyes start to close,
another long night, as the cold wind blows.
Chilling me and once again reminding me of the past,
leaves me wondering why it went so fast.
I lie awake again, while the sun is high,
hoping today will be the day I move on and manage to get by,
but as the sun begins to fall hour by hour, my hopes grow dim.
Looks like the cycle will repeat once again.
The clouds turn beautiful shades of purple and pink.
It's so beautiful to me, I dare not blink,
and as the sun sets, and the tears fall,
my heart begins its nightly call.
Hope diminishes, as do I,
it's happened again, I break into full cry.
Come back my sun, bring me the light,
give me a reason to want to fight,
bring me sunlight no more of this night.
And like magic the light comes to me,
bringing me hope, setting me free.
Thank you, God, for sending me strength and light.
You gave me love, instead of the dark cold night.
No more tears, even as the sun sets, I will not set with it,
I will rise, and my happiness will be kept.

You're right, it is long...too long. I got lost half way through it. It is very nice otherwise, alot of feelings let out, but after reading the second half, all I remember is issues with the sun, and totally forgot what what written in the beginning. It is a start, if your trying to go somewhere with it. Take a break, and read it later and try to sort it out some more, rewrite it so you don't lose the reader with too much detail. I can relate to some of the feelings that you express in this...God bless!

I thought it was extraordinary. very good, keep writing.
I don't really like the rhyme scheme, but if it works for you...
Keep writing!

i would end it at "another long night, as the cold wind blows" and maybe name the poem: As the cold wind blows. also, if you still want to get the end of the poem across you should try organizing ur ideas and making them more clear.

overall i think it could be famous one day...

i think u are a really good poet and this is very good. what i think the meaning is, is that a heart was broken and every time night falls those feelings of when the 2 people weer together come back so the person cant sleep and so he asks for help to see light to forget those feelings and move on so he can sleep at night and only see the day light. i like this poem keep your poems coming, these type of poems are rare to find in the average person and i think u will go far with them.

It was awesome! That is really beautiful. Your good. It really makes you think of how one gets through tough times, like getting over the loss of a loved one like a spouse, family member, anyone close. Kudos to you for writing it so very well!