Poem Darkness what do you think.?Beware it is dark?

Question:There i was in the
In the dark howling wind
Sounds of laughter filled the air.

All i seen were shadows in black
with smells of blood and sulfur
seeping from the shacks.

I thought i was dreaming
with all the screaming from the
coffins in the woods.

They were singing and screaming
chants from long ago
They were wild and as they
Danced around the lady who was
Next for the dance of death
For the next sacrifice as
she was in a trance.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: There i was in the
In the dark howling wind
Sounds of laughter filled the air.

All i seen were shadows in black
with smells of blood and sulfur
seeping from the shacks.

I thought i was dreaming
with all the screaming from the
coffins in the woods.

They were singing and screaming
chants from long ago
They were wild and as they
Danced around the lady who was
Next for the dance of death
For the next sacrifice as
she was in a trance.

kida cool i lke it....scary

LOVE IT!!!

Sounds more like part of a story then a poem. Be that as it may, your poem is fractured.

It certainly is dark, but that's ok. You might want to fix up your grammar in the first stanza- did you mean to repeat "in the"? And "All I seen" should be "all I saw" in order to make sense. I notice how your first 3 stanzas have 3 lines - maybe consider dividing the last stanza into two to keep it consistent. I'd take out "coffins" snd leave it just "screaming from the woods", sounds more enigmatic. You need to clean up your language in the last stanza a bit, it feels awkward. I'd also consider ending with "for the next sacrifice" instead of the trance because it is a more potent ending. Have fun writing!

its some what ok. but there needs some corrections in yer grammar,ex: All i seen were shadows in black.
all i seen? is wrong