My first rhyming poem...and hints?

Question:Beautiful lies
Thats all she wants to hear.
Brutal honesty she denies
it's more than she can bare.

Give her false hope
You can never go wrong.
With truth she cannot cope
but calls for it all along.

She yells and screams
"Dont lie to me!"
Yet truth it seems
overwhelms her psyche.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Beautiful lies
Thats all she wants to hear.
Brutal honesty she denies
it's more than she can bare.

Give her false hope
You can never go wrong.
With truth she cannot cope
but calls for it all along.

She yells and screams
"Dont lie to me!"
Yet truth it seems
overwhelms her psyche.

Nobody aces their first rhyming poem. Keep working on it, and you'll get better. This isn't actually all that bad, so don't listen to what the others said. Just keep working, and soon your rhyming poetry will be just as good as your poetry that doesn't rhyme. Good luck!

I like it...very good...

And damn accurate sometimes...

it seems like you never ended your poem...you need a dramatic ending...like ya no?? like put one dramatic line at the end, and itll pull it all toghther. send us the end product!

"a girl's lie"?

I can rhyme better.

I'm a cow
You're a cow
Everyone's a cow cow
Moo

Nice poem. 7/10

the first and last stanza doesn't rhyme completely
and they make no sense either.
but the middle staza is ok so thats 1/3
keep working on it

that is great! good job and you should start writing more poems. there is nothing i can really help you with because everyones poems are different, and everyone has different technikes (sp?) but yea great job :D

poetry isnt all bout rhymes my frnds...

ever read the works of rabindra nath tagore.. he was a nobel laureate.. still most of his wrks werent enslaved to rhymes...

no need of sing-songs ding-dongs... let ur mind fly... the frst answerer should knw..each one of us is a poet.. each word is in itslef a poem...

u may re-write this wonderful piece...no problems if it lacks rhymes.. just give it a solid meaning.. a meaning which touches the heart...

it's ok.. but your no ee cummings.

but keep writing youll get better

has your girl friend got a big bum?
like the idea but it's needs sorting out and it's to short

I think it's wonderfully written and you did good on it.Please do not listen to some hurtful people who say really hurtful things as i did ...keep writing your good. EDIT Andrew s are you trying to hurt more feeling today???? where are your poems loser.you know zip about poetry .i almost quit writing because of you but now i see your just a sad hurtful being see i didn';t say man........