Do You Like My Poems Please Tell Me if You Do Also give Me Tips To Improve?

Question:Poem number 1~
I feel conceled
Inside My thoughts
like they're a trap
working Hard to
Obtain

Not Only Me
But Everyone
and Everything
Around me

So as I lay
In my tainted thoughts
Everything fades away
Slowly

Poem Number 2~
A girl dreams
Of fears
that torment
Her daily Life
Misfourtune
Waiting to happen

A boy dreams
of wishes
Being fufilled
one at a time
One person
At a time

Yet everyone dreams
Yes,different dreams
but all with meaning
Diffuculut to find why
but true

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Poem number 1~
I feel conceled
Inside My thoughts
like they're a trap
working Hard to
Obtain

Not Only Me
But Everyone
and Everything
Around me

So as I lay
In my tainted thoughts
Everything fades away
Slowly

Poem Number 2~
A girl dreams
Of fears
that torment
Her daily Life
Misfourtune
Waiting to happen

A boy dreams
of wishes
Being fufilled
one at a time
One person
At a time

Yet everyone dreams
Yes,different dreams
but all with meaning
Diffuculut to find why
but true

I somewhat agree on what the last two said, but I just think they need to be longer. So what if you're younger than 15 and you write your age??? Who cares? I'm a poet too, u don't see me bragging and telling you that your poem sucks because once again beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You don't see them putting poetry up for criticism either, it takes humility and wanting to get better to do that. Just have faith that everyone writes immature when they first start writing because a skill has to be developed. I like your stuff. Keep it up, you'll be great at it later. Just believe in yourself. :)

I feel an unfinished feeling to it...fix on that

Your poems reflect your age and immaturity. I am sure that you are not older than 15. A good poem would not have revealed this imformation to me. Your poems do not flow and are not poetic in nature. Your words bore the reader. I don′t want to be nasty but this is how I feel. I didn′t enjoy reading your poem. Please keep trying, but spice it up more. Let your words flow, reveal your true feelings. Be expressive.

i like them, your very talented but they seem that they need more they seem unfinished to me but other thatn that there pretty good =]

well i do not see anything wrong with it

Very expressive. I like that. You really let out how you feel. I say........................ Keep it up! :)