Is this a good start for a poem?

Question:I know I probably have some re-wording to do...

Gazing out my window,
I see nothing there
but spiritless hollow spaces.
I could run for miles,
but I would still be chained
to this town that doesn't love me.
There is nothing for me here,
I have to close my eyes to see
the bright lights I ache for.
But what is holding me back?
The moonlight hits my window,
only to show me my own reflection.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I know I probably have some re-wording to do...

Gazing out my window,
I see nothing there
but spiritless hollow spaces.
I could run for miles,
but I would still be chained
to this town that doesn't love me.
There is nothing for me here,
I have to close my eyes to see
the bright lights I ache for.
But what is holding me back?
The moonlight hits my window,
only to show me my own reflection.

I think it is a good start however, I came up with a way you might think is a bit better. Perhaps something like this may work

Gazing out my window,
I see nothing there,
Just spiritless hollow spaces.

I could run for miles,
Yet still be chained
To this town that doesn’t love me.

There is nothing here for me
I have to close my eyes
To see the bright lights I ache for.

But what is holding me back?
The moonlight hits my window,
Showing my own reflection.

Just a friendly suggestion for you to reflect on.

It's good, but not astounding. I like the imagery it projects. With a little work and revising, I think it would make quite the good poem (:

Oh my God, that's so good. I first looked at it and saw that it didn't rhyme. I thought "this is gonna be just another boring amateur poem. but i'll read it anyways." And I'm glad I did. Don't change it. Nothin' against midnight..., but don't change your poem. Oh, and not generic at all. Could you email it to me when you get it finished? Either way, great job.

little to original.

i thought it was very good. keep going.

I really like it please finish it. here's my ideas hope you don't mind

gazing out i see nothing,
spiritless hollow spaces
if i run for miles
I'll still be chained
to this town,
this Town that has
no love for me.
there's nothing,
nothing here for me
when i close my eyes i see,
i see the bright lights
I ache for them
so what holding me back?
moonlight hits my window
reviling to me my own reflection

This seemed so simple in the beginning but, developed to something quite unique in the very end...

"The moonlight hits my window,
only to show me my own reflection."

Grand powerful lines here that wrapped it up nicely my friend, I look forward to more from you <3

I'm gazing out of my window.
I see nothing there,
just spiritless hollow spaces,
I can run for miles.
No matter what, I could still be chained.
I want to leave, because no one loves me.
There is nothing for me here,
for me to see I need to close my eyes,
bright lights is what I long for
I ask you what is holding me back?
As the moonlight hits my window,
it shows me my own reflection.

No its not a good start - but its a great ending...especially in the end where you say: "The moonlight hits my window, only to show me my own reflection". Such powerful imagery - I reckon it belongs at the end of the poem...so it can really leave the reader with something.

Yeah you do have a bit of re-wording to do and I think that all the other suggestions are great...take your pick and use it.

Good luck dude - your doing great!!!

nah its boring and generic. Read my poems, I′m a poet. www.fictionpress.com/~mischa2k4