Comment on my short poem?

Question:you whisper my beauty in my ear
say you'll never hurt me
that you'll love me forever

you hurt me everyday
you tear a piece off my heart
everytime i stay

soon they'll be nothing left
nothing but my empty shell
and the echos of my beauty

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: you whisper my beauty in my ear
say you'll never hurt me
that you'll love me forever

you hurt me everyday
you tear a piece off my heart
everytime i stay

soon they'll be nothing left
nothing but my empty shell
and the echos of my beauty

it seems like the "you" in the poem is a guy.
and "me is probably you in the poem
so it seems like the guy loves you, but only because of your beauty. but you want him to notice more than that because beauty is only skin deep. what about personality? sense of humor?
and you're sad because there's nothing else that he notices about you besides beauty. thus the last line of the poem "and the echos of my beauty"

That's a beautiful one! (Although i don't know what exactly are u talking about in the poem!)

its nice and tells a sad story

too dramatic and sad for me though

Whoa....very good, IMHO. I love the imagery. The only thing I would change ('cause I'm not you, right, LOL?) is to modify the last stanza a bit....nothing will be left, but how does it affect the other person? What is the shell? Are you dead, or have you sunk into a depression where you cannot feel?

Good, but could be better

Very tightly constructed -- very good.

The one thing that I would like is the reason for the pain -- it would give me a full picture. Cheater, liar, abuser, drunk, gambler, womanizer -- just one little clue.