This may be it for tonight. How is it.?

Question:"closed eyes"

A dream I had of holding you,
beneath the sky, a crimson hue.
A picture of a world soon lost,
the end is near, a holocaust.

Together through an endless night,
with no moon, just frozen light.
A secret held behind closed eyes,
I burn to share, but yet I sigh.

Remembering your potent scent,
and all our kisses gently spent.
If only you could understand,
I watch the moon, the beaches sand.

Listen to your ancient heart,
the midnight hours, yet to start.
Within the cold and ghastly night,
I am the killer, yet cannot fight.

Through the dark, no speck of light,
I hold you close with all my might.
We spilled our blood in sacrifice,
Satan laughs, he owns my life.

A final dream of holding you,
we are now lost, no longer two.
Beneath the frozen Winter sky,
yet you still question, why oh why.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "closed eyes"

A dream I had of holding you,
beneath the sky, a crimson hue.
A picture of a world soon lost,
the end is near, a holocaust.

Together through an endless night,
with no moon, just frozen light.
A secret held behind closed eyes,
I burn to share, but yet I sigh.

Remembering your potent scent,
and all our kisses gently spent.
If only you could understand,
I watch the moon, the beaches sand.

Listen to your ancient heart,
the midnight hours, yet to start.
Within the cold and ghastly night,
I am the killer, yet cannot fight.

Through the dark, no speck of light,
I hold you close with all my might.
We spilled our blood in sacrifice,
Satan laughs, he owns my life.

A final dream of holding you,
we are now lost, no longer two.
Beneath the frozen Winter sky,
yet you still question, why oh why.

An excellent effort. If you would like my suggestion try the word "beyond" instead of behind in "behind closed eyes" Beyond to me would signify deeper. I had trouble with the meter on "I watch the moon, the beaches sand" but that may be me. The only other minor blemish on this work to me would be the ending "why oh why." To me you are trying to make a strong statement but this seems as a weak afterthought. If that was your intent, then fine.

<3

aw

this is simply amazing...:)

ive read it three times:D...

awesome...

Dark, You are amazing. You should get published! I love your poetry. You do "dark" the BEST! I'm in your fan club! This is one of my favorites, if not my very favorite of all. Here's a thought, though. You are SO good that there might be a possibility of someone taking your poetry from here since it is not copyrighted and publishing it in their name. I wouldn't give it away! You can make money with this. Be careful. Someones printer might be running right now. Good luck. Jan

Are you planning on doing yourself and your lover in? I hope not. It started out very romantic, but the end made me think that something bad is going to happen? That's my interpretation, but that's what is neat about poetry. Just like a physical piece of art, poetry can be interpreted in different ways. Good job!

Another well done piece. A couple of lines, the meter was sacrificed for what had to be said, but it didn't really hurt the poem, and the subject stayed intact..

Nice metre - good rhyming
the sand belonging to the beach -beach's

~Through the dark and endless night
I hold you close, it seems so right.
- I'm trying to lose the phrase 'with all my might' - it sounds too much of a cliche.
The midnight hours....this one puzzled me. There is only one midnight hour, so is this an abbreviation of The Midnight hour is yet to start.? If yes, you need an apostrophe on the hours - hour's.

I liked this, there are some really good images and lines
the end is near, a holocaust
and I really liked 'Beneath the frozen Winter sky'
- but, it was weird I know it is about earth, but some-how it evoked a picture of two people on another planet - like Mars.