What are your thoughts on this old poem of mine?

Question:The Raindrop

A boy looked out the window
And saw it was raining

He thought the raindrops were the
Most beautiful things he had ever seen—
All silvery and shiny
Yet translucent
Like dreams

He ran out into the rain

He got wet
As Heaven’s tears fell upon him

He brought his hands to his head and prayed
Prayed to the crying kingdom

He outstretched his cupped hands
Then squeezed them tightly shut
He had caught a raindrop

He ran inside
To his lover

He opened his hands to her, saying
“My love, I have brought you a raindrop.”
She looked down at his hands
They were merely wet.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The Raindrop

A boy looked out the window
And saw it was raining

He thought the raindrops were the
Most beautiful things he had ever seen—
All silvery and shiny
Yet translucent
Like dreams

He ran out into the rain

He got wet
As Heaven’s tears fell upon him

He brought his hands to his head and prayed
Prayed to the crying kingdom

He outstretched his cupped hands
Then squeezed them tightly shut
He had caught a raindrop

He ran inside
To his lover

He opened his hands to her, saying
“My love, I have brought you a raindrop.”
She looked down at his hands
They were merely wet.

There's more going on than meets the eye. You describe the little boy, going out and taking a raindrop, love and tears from heaven, bearing it to an adult who has seen the cruel world and who perceives the rain as yet another "bother" to her day. All of a sudden, all the glory is stripped from the raindrop and instead of something whole, perfect, and lovely, it is now a nusiance that must be cleaned up at the earliest possible time. I feel so remorseful, knowing that we must lose our innocence. If it were untitled, I would call it "Innocence Lost." Thanks for the trip down memory lane...

I can apreciate what it is like to see love in raindrops. I was watching rain running off lemon leaves once and felt a poem coming on. The smell of rain is very evocative too. The last bit of your poem describes how your feelings and inspirations are sometimes not appreciated by those you love the most.

My love,
I am sorry
for my blindess,
I can only
feel.

Why do you
bring me
tears upon
your hands.

I have so much to give,
so much to wonder,
tell me what is
this liquid inspiration
and why
is it a gift?

She's a real ****** - lol. Lovely poem. I like your story telling. I like your structure. Not only does it add to the poem, it is also aesthetically pleasing.

pretty cool Alobar.
his lover wasnt obviously a plant. lol
i liked how he caught it and brought it in. :)

btw, your avatar is hysterical!

All sorts of allegories, metaphors, symbols, and what-have-you are splashing around here in Jehovah's wetness. Maybe a little too many, I felt it was a tad busy. You manage to approach the edge of melodrama without actually stepping into it. When I encountered the word "lover" I was forced to look back to confirm that he's just a "boy." This was (only slightly) jarring. Make him a lad. That would preserve his youth, establish the presence of a sufficient quantity of hormones, and provide an alliteration. I am not happy with the "merely" of the last line. Do you think that "simply" would serve you better? All in all, I had mixed reactions to this. I love the premise, but I think its execution is somewhat overblown.

One word describes this: Unappreciated

Great work!!!