Any comments on this serious poem?

Question:Evil Planting

A lovely garden growing there
Cast aside in frenzy’s pace
to plant some evil thing
deep wthin soft virgin soil.

No thought for innocence
No grace fell there
Upon child-like eyes
Just the hate filled doing of it.

Fields of glory
Ripped asunder with no
Care for the smallest wonder
Flourishing there

Pushed aside for blind purpose
The Heart of a flower beats no more,
Silence falls on sparrow song
for death is a quiet thing.

But someday the soiled memory
Will pierce through darkness of time
And space,
See the awful thing
Rooted there, . . . and scream.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Evil Planting

A lovely garden growing there
Cast aside in frenzy’s pace
to plant some evil thing
deep wthin soft virgin soil.

No thought for innocence
No grace fell there
Upon child-like eyes
Just the hate filled doing of it.

Fields of glory
Ripped asunder with no
Care for the smallest wonder
Flourishing there

Pushed aside for blind purpose
The Heart of a flower beats no more,
Silence falls on sparrow song
for death is a quiet thing.

But someday the soiled memory
Will pierce through darkness of time
And space,
See the awful thing
Rooted there, . . . and scream.

its a beautiful poem i could sense the pain and the frustration to let your voice be heard with out letting the true story behind the poem revile...

its a piece of art work and you are extremely clever to write so nicely

Um...is this poem about a dead flower?

I love it:)

Wow thats deep. Did you right it?

I like it a lot, the analogy is a good one. It captures your attention and holds it in a power full grip. You have the mind of a poet, the way you can feel and see things and put them into words so beautiful yet so saddening . Hope to hear more from you!

Sounds like a speech, well written, but no real call to action, what do you want the reader to do?

Try some simple poems with perhaps 7-8 syllables withe the last words rhyming,that tell a story, ask for action meditation or love.

That's a good poem in a sad sort of way. To me it's talking of how in humanities zeal, and desire for the things that are sinful, and lustful we uncaringly trample on and destroy the innocent and hurt those beautiful young flowers which seek to thrive and blossom, yet because of what others may have done to that flower their pedals are as a birds broken wing, thus they are hindered from flying. And someday those who have broken the spirit of Gods precious flowers by their wrong doings unto others will be faced with how their actions have hurt others, and then they will be filled with agony. Pretty brutal stuff, but it reminds us that we should be careful to never hurt the delicate flowers of life which are growing all around us in this earth. I may have gotten the idea of this poem wrong, but all inspiration of thought can teach us something. Thanks for sharing. Also remember that God can heal, and restore even the most battered of flowers.

I think you could change the order, find some synonyms that feel right like how you truly mean, some old English would be great too

wow great awsome really has deep meaning

Sounds beatnickish. Nice

Well done. I like it. It's very emotional.

Yeah it's good.Especially it is really needed now as people are cutting more and more plants,trees,forest.

The flower is a metaphor, of course. The poem is written beautifully. It clearly illustrates the damage hatred does to the world and its inhabitants. The understatement is very effective. You have a special flair for poetry.

oh my goodness !!!!!!! PLEASE email my and tell my what your doing with all these poems. tell me about you. i think this ones top 10. fecking awesome !!!!!! toni

And you are not even a grand mother yet! Thank you for
affirming my inkling before I read you as a poet, "This woman
has words of wisdom to speak."

The quite scream with in flows in flows out daily for the
differ our youth shall never know, "what was" Perhaps not the best, but the better. Bravo for your insight.