A poem based on my life, but exaggerated.?

Question:I made it to heaven

on a cloudy, rainy day,
one cold october morn,
my mom was getting high,
my dad was getting drunk.

i was only five,
and had nothing else to do,
so i decided to play dress-up,
in my daddys clothes.

i put on his shirt,
and his pants,
and his shoes,
and then his long coat.

I felt in the pocket,
and guess what i found?
a little silver tin,
full of green smelly stuff.

i put it in my mouth,
curious as i was,
it tasted really bad,
but i swallowed it all.

at first i felt fine,
and played and danced,
then i felt funny,
and got dizzy.

i started to fall,
and before i closed my eyes,
i saw a picture of Jesus,
hanging on our wall.

i was found a while later,
and rushed to the ER,
the doctors tried to save me,
but there was nothing they could do.

my eyes rolled back in my head,
and i was covered with a sheet,
doctors later found out what was wrong,
an overdose of marijuana.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I made it to heaven

on a cloudy, rainy day,
one cold october morn,
my mom was getting high,
my dad was getting drunk.

i was only five,
and had nothing else to do,
so i decided to play dress-up,
in my daddys clothes.

i put on his shirt,
and his pants,
and his shoes,
and then his long coat.

I felt in the pocket,
and guess what i found?
a little silver tin,
full of green smelly stuff.

i put it in my mouth,
curious as i was,
it tasted really bad,
but i swallowed it all.

at first i felt fine,
and played and danced,
then i felt funny,
and got dizzy.

i started to fall,
and before i closed my eyes,
i saw a picture of Jesus,
hanging on our wall.

i was found a while later,
and rushed to the ER,
the doctors tried to save me,
but there was nothing they could do.

my eyes rolled back in my head,
and i was covered with a sheet,
doctors later found out what was wrong,
an overdose of marijuana.

Very sad poem. A little of meter wise and finally, even though I don't smoke the herb...no one has ever died from an overdose of marijuana. A very complelling poem because what if the tim had been full of pain pills, or cocaine. A cautionary tale for everyone with children. Well done.

Disturbing, yet good. I'm sorry, it's just too dramatic for me.

that's very powerful.. i don't know about the very last stanza, its just a little too disturbing.

Very sad poem, but there are people who care very much for children--it's too bad some of them aren't the parents.

Good, no one could possibly deny that. But it's overly dramatic.

oh... wow. that was powerful
straight to the point. and very scary.

i can actually picture this in my head. THAT was bizarre. O_O

bravo! (:

i agree, i guess some people really don't care about children.