Comments anyone on this latest poem?

Question:HEAVEN’S GATE

Where earth meets sky
And time stands still,
Infinity
Is displayed
In Starlight’s gleam,
Candle glow,
And Rainbows that
Never fade. And,

The soul of man
Is a butterfly,
Returning
New and free,
To the waiting
Hand of God,
At the door to
Eternity.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: HEAVEN’S GATE

Where earth meets sky
And time stands still,
Infinity
Is displayed
In Starlight’s gleam,
Candle glow,
And Rainbows that
Never fade. And,

The soul of man
Is a butterfly,
Returning
New and free,
To the waiting
Hand of God,
At the door to
Eternity.

Wonderful, loved the images. If you are trying to take words out try "is" before a butterfly. Well done, my compliments

That's brilliant!!!! But I don't like it....

BEUTIFUL!

Pretty :)

omg! did you write that!? that is such a beautiful poem. great job. you could probably get the published. great work! :)

That is sooo cool. I love it! Keep writing!

very nice. thank you for sharing

yeah i agree w/ everybody else-its pretty good. keep writing! :-)

I like the poem.
it gives me a serene sense of heaven and what it would feel to be there...

Suggestion: take away that "And" in the last stanza...it kinda sounds weird there

Awesome. You have the two verses, like in the Proverbs, saying a smiliar thought, which opens up the mind to the mulit-dimensional variations on the main theme, and it seems the first is clearly intended to be an analogy for the second, as it should be, the first being inanimate creation and the second animate creation, and humans in particular. I like the softness of your tone, which is reflected in and communicated through your careful choice of words. I really like the way you have "floated" between rhyme and meter: you have not writtne a strictly rhyming or strictly metrical poem, yet you approach each, softening the common language we use and heightening its colors and dimensions, also pulling or luring the words away from prose. I could say a lot more. I really like it. I write poetry also and am a Christian, so this is a joy to read, not just from a spiritual standpoint, but from your art. When God comissioned the Tent of Meeting and the Temple, He said bring "skilled workers" in silver, bronze, gold, linen, etc. You are a good writer. I think you have written a little bit or maybe a lot. You know you won't get a lot of comments like mine in this particular forum. I have already had some experience with that.

I'll use this answer to share a poem of mine with you:

petals

and so
after gaining all the world
we shall lose each other?

we failed to heed the admonition:
putting our stores in earthly treasures
coveting our bodies and our minds
losing the spirit we shared?

when we had vowed
in the depths of our hearts
in the holy sanctuary
and before God and family
we shall part our company?

and become again
what we once were
not so very long ago -
strangers - only now
once lovers and dreamers?

we spoke the words
repeated so many times:
you and i for all eternity?
you and i?
we need another word for "we"
we are not "we" as once together
we are only you and i for time

perhaps like petals
tossed before the winds
of the same flower
we bid the stem farewell
cast adrift and lost
amidst the tumbling rains

the petals fall
and find their resting place
they will some day find the soil rich and sweet
becoming part of it themselves
again

and even as the flower
finally melts into the sun
the old stalk turns
and falls to the side
the roots wither and turn to dust,

another flower will come
and new petals will spring forth
again
there when the elements are right
as surely and inevitably they must be

as the meadow is large
and the sky is ever full

Another! soul feeling gem. I too felt you did not need "And"
I do indeed enjoy your style of simplicity in depth.