Do you like this little poem ?

Question:I got to keep my eyes open
for the red hot circus
on the sand
sun is smiling
wind is whistling
i keep dreaming
of zebras & elephants
monkeys in disguise
blue eyed girls
wearing pokerdot hats
dancing for the crowds
dancing on red carpets
memories from side walks
huddle around

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I got to keep my eyes open
for the red hot circus
on the sand
sun is smiling
wind is whistling
i keep dreaming
of zebras & elephants
monkeys in disguise
blue eyed girls
wearing pokerdot hats
dancing for the crowds
dancing on red carpets
memories from side walks
huddle around

Wonderful imagery. I wish I could dream like that.

yes it is unique*

its nice but it seems kind of random, should be put together more.

Ok, it's interesting. Have you been to sleep yet? lol, just joking with you.

I get it.

I am trying to figure out the first line. You are apparently dreaming or reminiscing of colorful events in the past that you apparently enjoyed at the beach. But that first line: "I got to keep my eyes open.." Are you falling asleep? Why? And what is the connection between that and the rest of the poem?

You have some colorful metaphors here. They are fine. But if you are trying to tell something more deep or meaningful, you might want to expound on it a little.

By the way, whatever you do, don't give your poem to poetry.com. I handed in a poem a while back and they have been harassing me to pay them money to publish my poem ever since!

Yes, I do

polka-dot - unless you want poker-dot, of course!

I, being me, would wish to tinker a bit with it, but it is your poem and it runs along happily with out any interference.

ya its nice.

Very nice. I've contacted FGM about EP's wish.