If you would only see, the crying child in words... would you answer me?

Question:Mother Earth was always warmer
Then bosom of my birth
To hold on would be death for me
So I cling solely to my earth
All the waters shatter
In brilliant display they fly
My hoes and dreams never mattered
You’d laugh the nights I cried
The Fire of you scorning
To your own child no-less
A longing heart to be near you
I wanted you caress
Now the wind only sings
No lullaby do I hear
I sit with knife against my pen
No more, will you be near

If you didn’t know by this, my mother was not the best example… but then, what mother is? I do not hold anything against her; I use what she gave me as fuel for my work.

Pleas tell me what you think.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Mother Earth was always warmer
Then bosom of my birth
To hold on would be death for me
So I cling solely to my earth
All the waters shatter
In brilliant display they fly
My hoes and dreams never mattered
You’d laugh the nights I cried
The Fire of you scorning
To your own child no-less
A longing heart to be near you
I wanted you caress
Now the wind only sings
No lullaby do I hear
I sit with knife against my pen
No more, will you be near

If you didn’t know by this, my mother was not the best example… but then, what mother is? I do not hold anything against her; I use what she gave me as fuel for my work.

Pleas tell me what you think.

Ah, mothers, can't live with them, can't live without them, literally. Sorry to make a joke at your poem, but I can't really help it. Humor lightens the darker mood that I feel, knowing that the sometimes unfeeling breast of Mother Earth is far warmer than that of the woman who bore me. I understand your woes and worries. So, we fallen daughters must band together and tread the dark waters.

This is a strong emotional outpouring that with proper editing, tightening of words and addressing some meter issues will be a gem. My compliments. Now get to work to improve it.

Other then the few spelling errors (those you have pointed out already) I think this a poem showing the mother you wish you had had and the one you actually had... I am not writing well because of my time constraint but I really hope you keep writing.

LOL, I can see you now fumbling over the keys lol, silly you...

I sometimes get that excited over a write *^_^*

And you should be, just fix the gram and you're good ta go

Well done and Pen on @)~>~

if one must explain ones poetic writings,
then fear to call it poetry.

the write is very emotional and well "said ".
it is a long one for sure.
a re-write with the thoughts of others will make it a thoughtful read.

Bless the child
and damn
the mother.
Siren heed
your own song,
lest others
around you
drown.

Pity never the antidote,
never the solution.