Read this please! tells me what think?

Question:i know its not that good, but im looking for constructive critisism, not just that sucked.....thanks.

Love Lost

She sits alone and wonders
why?
Did she not love Him enough?
Did she love Him too much?
She tries to move on
but her heart is gone.
He took it with him the day
He left.

He lays in bed
beside a woman he wishes he could love.
A woman he wishes was Her.
But he knows She deserves better
than what he can give.
Never in his life has he
regretted.
Untill now. Untill Her.

Two halves
of the same soul
seperated by circumstance.
He drowns himself
in the memory of Her.
She abuses herself
with acusations.
Only when together
will they truly be complete.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i know its not that good, but im looking for constructive critisism, not just that sucked.....thanks.

Love Lost

She sits alone and wonders
why?
Did she not love Him enough?
Did she love Him too much?
She tries to move on
but her heart is gone.
He took it with him the day
He left.

He lays in bed
beside a woman he wishes he could love.
A woman he wishes was Her.
But he knows She deserves better
than what he can give.
Never in his life has he
regretted.
Untill now. Untill Her.

Two halves
of the same soul
seperated by circumstance.
He drowns himself
in the memory of Her.
She abuses herself
with acusations.
Only when together
will they truly be complete.

I like because it is very realistic. Did you write it yourself? Anyway, I think it would be better for the reader if you didn't make the point so obvious or use more descriptive words. For instance:
She sits alone wondering why
Pondering thoughts that make her cry
Where did she go wrong, loving too little or too much
Heartless she felt longing for his touch....

I think what you wrote was thought provoking and if and when you write poetry I think it can be interpreted a million different ways and as such it can be recreated a million different ways. I hope this helps. Thanks for the poem!

Wow, that's really good!! Are you sure you're supposed to capitalize Him? I thought you only do that if it's God. ?

i like it, is it true? there are only a few "jump spots" that are a little unclear but other than that it's great! props to you!!

that was a really good poem.i think you should get that published,and i really got what that meant

It doesnt suck at all! I think that it was VERY VERY good. You have talent hun i hope you use it to its full avantage in life!

It needs more figurative language! I think it is too simple in the use of language... Nice thoughts, though! :)

WOW!!
did u write that??
it very great
i would have thought u
copied it off a book
its good

I like the style of writing, where the lines are broken in irregular places. Other than that, accusations is mispelled in the last stanza, but I like the overrall message, and the use of capitalization.

it's good.

the man was with a woman? he left her he found another woman and now he has found another? he lies beside a woman then u say until he found her that is 3 women by my way of reckoning.

whoa,that was deep. Like it was almost like u were writing from experience?..
Anyways,Bravo! I'm impressed=)

love the name"love lost"
if i gotta choose i'd say da first part is da best part..
but it's awesome really
way 2 go dude