Winds of fate?

Question:Oh blow thou southern winds,
Blow and warm my cold heart.
Warm, and melt away my sins.
Let thy tender breath act its part
In bringing me salvation.

Oh blow thou easterly winds,
Blow the sun to gently rise.
Lift my sorrow to fly on wings,
That I may seek the only prize
Of finding my salvation.

Oh blow thou westerly winds,
Blow the darkness from my eyes
That I may see only worthy things,
And seek the wisdom of the wise
To bring about my salvation.

Oh blow thou northerly winds
Cover my sins with thy snows.
Hide the shame my guilt brings,
Keep me secret from He who knows
The state of my salvation.

Blow Oh blow ye mighty winds,
Blow rocks from every quarter.
Hide me from the King of Kings,
Bind me with the sinner’s mortar
For awful is my salvation.

Cease to blow ye mighty winds,
Though awful be my accusation.
I shall not suffer Satan’s stings,
But serve my King in adoration
In justified salvation.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Oh blow thou southern winds,
Blow and warm my cold heart.
Warm, and melt away my sins.
Let thy tender breath act its part
In bringing me salvation.

Oh blow thou easterly winds,
Blow the sun to gently rise.
Lift my sorrow to fly on wings,
That I may seek the only prize
Of finding my salvation.

Oh blow thou westerly winds,
Blow the darkness from my eyes
That I may see only worthy things,
And seek the wisdom of the wise
To bring about my salvation.

Oh blow thou northerly winds
Cover my sins with thy snows.
Hide the shame my guilt brings,
Keep me secret from He who knows
The state of my salvation.

Blow Oh blow ye mighty winds,
Blow rocks from every quarter.
Hide me from the King of Kings,
Bind me with the sinner’s mortar
For awful is my salvation.

Cease to blow ye mighty winds,
Though awful be my accusation.
I shall not suffer Satan’s stings,
But serve my King in adoration
In justified salvation.

This poem shows promise. It's obvious you have talent. It's a bit confusing; the last stanza seems to contradict the earlier messages of the poem. Nonetheless, it was a pleasure to read and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.

You have good intentions but the delivery of your message is less than the standard for which I am sure you seek. Too many repetitions, flow issues and perhaps too many words. While you think going to each of the winds adds, it in fact detracts because to the reader it quickly becomes apparent. While you use the winds as a metaphor for fate you say nothing how you plan to change your destiny or fate outside of seeking. Would not winds be a better metaphor for seeking? Just a thought.

A Hymn, I'd love to set it to music! Reminiscent of those I learned, many years ago.

This is a very traditional-type work, and as such succeeds; however, as poetry it is quite redundant and derivative. I would offer no changes for as it stands and what it is, it is pretty much perfect, it is just not something I see a need to broadcast.

I'm not trying to be rude, by the way, just giving opinion of work as poetry. I think this piece means quite a bit to you, but maybe is intended only for you.