One more, will you comment?

Question:Here it is
The moment of truth
Will I be accepted
Or turned away
I've awaited this moment for so long
I walk down the corridor
I am so nervous
What will I say
How will I be seen
Each step makes my heart beat faster
Though I get closer
The door seems as if it's miles away
Thoughts race through my mind
Then in an instant
My mind goes blank
I have made it
And then
The door opens...........

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here it is
The moment of truth
Will I be accepted
Or turned away
I've awaited this moment for so long
I walk down the corridor
I am so nervous
What will I say
How will I be seen
Each step makes my heart beat faster
Though I get closer
The door seems as if it's miles away
Thoughts race through my mind
Then in an instant
My mind goes blank
I have made it
And then
The door opens...........

gosh, that was really beautiful. I liked it. You put a lot of emotion into it. It was a deep poem. And it meant something-

It kinda seems like a person who is getting married- like the pre-marriage thoughts - of whats going to happen -

and then again, it could be a person who is going in for school like a college or something - like an audition for julliard-

This poem is really good b/c many ppl could relate to it. Its creative- it could be used in so many different ways, such as an audtion for julliard, or when a bride is walking down the aisle getting married- this could be whats going through their minds.

I really liked it :)
GREAT JOB!

beautiful ,is a great poem and can be interpreted many ways 5 stars :)

good but it should rhyme a little more but i like it honestly

Yuck

maybe it should have been ...

"My mind goes blank
and then I write this poem"

you have a talent good one. its easy to Imagine it.

wow thats really good. i like it!!!

nice

I think it -- the ending left me a little blank.. maybe one more verse -- but even as it is i like it Good Work

OMG, that's really great and at the same time emotional I love it......

I have never been a poetry fan, but I loved it! It made me feel like I was back in school and ready to walk into my new class as the "new" student. This is awesome! You have talent!

Mmmk, this needs a lot of work.

Firstly, I know all the Word programs and whatever automatically capitalize the first word of lines, so you need to fix it yourself. Don't be lazy because capitalization and punctuation sort of affect the way your audience reads the poem and you have no punctuation until the very end. Places where sentences keep going, "Will I be accepted/ Or turned away" You need to make "Or" lowercase and put a question mark at the end, get it?

Otherwise, it's just this big, long run on sentence.

And to the idiot who said it needs to "rhyme more," it doesn't. This is free verse. Not all poems need to rhyme to be poetic. I hate it when people say that all poems must rhyme, like it's some big important thing. Sometimes trying too hard to rhyme can screw up a poem, make you use words you don't want to use just because they rhyme.

Near the end, you use "my mind" twice and it sounds kind of repetitive. Try to take one out and change it a bit. Read your poem out loud. Try and listen to yourself and hear the awkward parts and make them better.

Keep writing, and good luck. =]

Great news, the Chippendales have accepted your application. Too bad its for shower boy! Great poem, builds well and leaves the reader with thoughts.

I liked this one. good pacing, suspenseful end, the "what the hell is on the other side of that door?" question is palatable.

Another sublime outpouring my friend! Bravo! Encore!