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Position:Home>Poetry> Something else I wrote during dinner. How is this.?Question:"despair" Leave me with my anguish, it covers me like fog. Touching everything I am, gone on for way too long. How long can I take this, my own house of pain. It's the only place I know, thats mine and mine alone. No one there can touch me, the hiding place I crave. Like a cave that no one knows, my shelter when it rains. No one seems to notice, the depths of my despair. I wander aimless wondering, sad things that I don't care.. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "despair" Leave me with my anguish, it covers me like fog. Touching everything I am, gone on for way too long. How long can I take this, my own house of pain. It's the only place I know, thats mine and mine alone. No one there can touch me, the hiding place I crave. Like a cave that no one knows, my shelter when it rains. No one seems to notice, the depths of my despair. I wander aimless wondering, sad things that I don't care.. This poem is quite powerful. I like the way it grapples with complex ontological aspects - those fundamental essences deeply buried in George Lamming's castles of the skin. As if well aware about our shrewd nosy impostures, we are forewarned, "Leave me with my anguish." And this anguish covers the 'being' of the speaker "like fog." I like that simile. Fog certainly appeals to sense of sight, and in this regard, the anguish is not quite visible, it is foggy, thereby effecting the latent nature of the abstract noun. . . . despair. Then comes this excellent metaphor: house of pain, How long can I take this, my own house of pain. It's the only place I know, thats mine and mine alone. The first line connects perfectly with the last of previous stanza. And the metaphor leaves no doubt about the enveloping anguished existence. The speaker's sense of self is tightly connected to this pain, s/he cannot step out, no exit, "It's the only place I know." Again the emphasis, "mine and mine" not only brilliantly expresses the sense of entrapment in this house of pain, but also wards off our own usual complacent temptations to pity. The speaker does not want our suspiciously-crafted devious interference. Our scheming postures has been deconstructed and hence, "No one there can touch me,/the hiding place I crave." That "hiding place I crave," finally, warns us not to interfere. However, since we often want to help those in distress, the anguished and desperate, we must wonder why our intervention is not needed!! won't we? I bet it is because most times we are driven by selfish, manipulative and complacent feelings for our own delight. We pose as sympathetic and humanistic yet when examined closely, our translucent masquarade is abhorent and pitiable. We offer heartless pity instead of genuine heartfelt sympathy. We bless the Almighty, "Thanks my God," it is not me who is facing this condition! Despicable. I guess the style, especially, the word-choice lends ample credit to the poem's overall theme: No one there can touch me, the hiding place I crave. Like a cave that no one knows, my shelter when it rains "I crave" subsists and rhymes in the same stanza with "a cave." Simply, I crave for this cave. This cave shelters the self "when it rains." Cave is the principal image but when it rains extends it. When does it rain? This means when problems/interferences/slyness/ injustices etc outside there threaten the quiet of being. Further proof that you and me are locked out, "No one seems to notice,/the depths of my despair." Yes, we can only act as in a play that we know and even mumble words of encouragement but the truth is we could never know the actual pain that lies within the deeper crevices of being. I like the semantic indirection and word-play of the last two lines: "I wander aimless wondering,/sad things that I don't care.." The sense of "unspeakable" latency is apparent. We shall never know the depths of despair as the speaker gropes reflectively in the the castle of his/her own skin. This is effected by placing "aimless" between two words with similar sound, "wander aimless wondering." Does it qualify "wandering" or "wondering"? We shall never know with certainty. We may discuss that until we go to sleep but after all, the speaker doesn't care about suchcalculated time-wasting linguistic and philosophical musings. In my view, this is one of the best crafted poems whereby the poet pays commendable attention to the links between form and content; stylistics and semantics. keep 'em rollin' buddy You have alot of talent for writing!! I do feel that you are experiencing alot of pain and or that I feel bad.....but concentrate on your writing and eventually the pain desolves. that was amazing! it reminds me alot of my sisters poem but her a much different...lol Nice! Very clear and your message is well presented to the audience. You got talent, now maybe polish out the rough edges of your style... Best wishes, :) you are a hero every word is perfect you're writting skills are amazing i like it 'How long can I take this, my own house of pain.' Well said and well-written poem. - with a true friend, the despair will leave. nice poem....u r not alone in this house of pain.... |