What do you think of my poem 'The Smile'?

Question:The cold icy wind was harsh on her cheeks
And chilled her to the bone.
She tightened her grip on the broom handle
And began sweeping the pavement.
Her hands were rough
Her face was black
Her clothes were covered with the dust of a lifetime
There were holes in the soles of her slippers
for walking till morn to gloom.
Sun was straining to come up
The walk was deserted.
Soon,she thought,soon
The single thing which fills my miserable life with hope,
Soon it will come
And her whole being tingled in delight

Suddenly she heard
The sound of two feet on the pavement
Her heart froze on the broom and
her heart almost stopped
As he jogged past her,
With laughing blue eyes
And a brilliant loving smile

She could barely manage a smile in return
and stood in the lonely pavement
watching his form disappear
with tears of joy in her eyes

"You are the light which lit up
the days of a poor sweeper maid
Yours is the smile which
makes me want to sing
the Glory of Life"

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The cold icy wind was harsh on her cheeks
And chilled her to the bone.
She tightened her grip on the broom handle
And began sweeping the pavement.
Her hands were rough
Her face was black
Her clothes were covered with the dust of a lifetime
There were holes in the soles of her slippers
for walking till morn to gloom.
Sun was straining to come up
The walk was deserted.
Soon,she thought,soon
The single thing which fills my miserable life with hope,
Soon it will come
And her whole being tingled in delight

Suddenly she heard
The sound of two feet on the pavement
Her heart froze on the broom and
her heart almost stopped
As he jogged past her,
With laughing blue eyes
And a brilliant loving smile

She could barely manage a smile in return
and stood in the lonely pavement
watching his form disappear
with tears of joy in her eyes

"You are the light which lit up
the days of a poor sweeper maid
Yours is the smile which
makes me want to sing
the Glory of Life"

This line struck me:

There were holes in the soles of her slippers
for walking till morn to gloom.

Captured everything about her, I think, with those two lines. The rest of the poem, a fine tale, melancholic, human. Unrequited love, but is it due to her place in life, or to weakness? Ah, we will never know, but I think the above line does give a strong clue....

wow, thats deep!

about love...notting special. No offense but it is just another sweet-love poem! Anyway it is only my opinion and I have right for that!

that is a really good poem.

Interesting poem.

very good, all your poems are good. I'm starting to hate you.

Whoa! I like! LOL!

Its quite a good work. Keep it up.