Scary poem by me?

Question:A man in the darkness covered by shade.
The man talked of the black days of lying in a casket.
The people crying people thing of him dieing.
The man alive in the coffin lying.
The man spoke of the dirt between his teeth and gums whn the funeral was through. The screams screamed back at him in the black lercking shadows of his mind. Finalliy escapping from the devil under ground. The hours of digging and lurking in the shadows to find his home. Telling his famiy hes living alive. The shock covering them in surprise blinded deaf gasping for air feeling like the man covered in dirt that had just escaped and early grave.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: A man in the darkness covered by shade.
The man talked of the black days of lying in a casket.
The people crying people thing of him dieing.
The man alive in the coffin lying.
The man spoke of the dirt between his teeth and gums whn the funeral was through. The screams screamed back at him in the black lercking shadows of his mind. Finalliy escapping from the devil under ground. The hours of digging and lurking in the shadows to find his home. Telling his famiy hes living alive. The shock covering them in surprise blinded deaf gasping for air feeling like the man covered in dirt that had just escaped and early grave.

That's like Edgar Allan Poe stuff. It's really good though. I liked it.

pretty good

First, correct the grammar, punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure (use fragments for a purpose, for example). Next, rearrange your lines into sharp, focused units of impact and put them into stanzas for effective visual and emotional impact of horror. Then, your gift for expressing emotion through words and images can be more realized by the reader.

It's pretty good.
The meter could use some work.
Would you like to email me? There's something I was gonna tell you.
Nice work:)

Needs work...but you are in the right neighborhood