Another poem... i just feel like writing today... comment?

Question:I felt so alone
When I wasn’t with you
I wish I had known
I was being used

I sit and sigh
With no one around
As time flies by
I make no sound

I have no one beside
No one like you
But instead you lied
Lied and abused

Now I feel dead
With out a friend
All the things you said
Its already the end…

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I felt so alone
When I wasn’t with you
I wish I had known
I was being used

I sit and sigh
With no one around
As time flies by
I make no sound

I have no one beside
No one like you
But instead you lied
Lied and abused

Now I feel dead
With out a friend
All the things you said
Its already the end…

Sw33t, I see nothing wrong with this, a fine work indeed <3

ain't wrong in feeling "dead" my friend @)~>~

awww. i love it. its sweet. i also write poems

It is rather shallow. It lacks substance. Your rhyme schemes are nice, but variety would enhance the poem.

Thats lovely. I can totally relate

Excellente'

The last stanza doesn't work. I feel dead? I think you mean hollow. Dead is nothingness which is different.

So there! (I'm smar-ter than you-hoo!) :)