"Flying"...a poem...comments or critique?

Question:In sleepless dream, she flies.
In cloudless sky, she dreams.
Above the dark and treacherous she soars,
Above the bright sun in the singing grass.
She sees through hawk's sky eyes beyond all time,
Looks upward past all mortal boundary.
She hears the chant of dieties beyond
Who with one claw could tear the fragile sky
And she would be a willing sacrifice.
What price would she not pay to be this free?
In sleepless dream, she flies.
In cloudless sky, she dreams.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: In sleepless dream, she flies.
In cloudless sky, she dreams.
Above the dark and treacherous she soars,
Above the bright sun in the singing grass.
She sees through hawk's sky eyes beyond all time,
Looks upward past all mortal boundary.
She hears the chant of dieties beyond
Who with one claw could tear the fragile sky
And she would be a willing sacrifice.
What price would she not pay to be this free?
In sleepless dream, she flies.
In cloudless sky, she dreams.

There is absolutely no question as to the beauty contained within this poem, it is a given, and you require no affirmation of it, I am sure. Who could not see it?

What I find interesting, is on a more intellectual basis: The girl--is she an angel, a lucky soul, a lucid dreamer, something else?--is facing the dilemma of perfect freedom versus mortal servitude, domination by God. She would willingly sacrifice all, allow herself to be consumed by Eternity for this taste of immaculate freedom. One has to wonder, how long is enough....?

I will chew on these thoughts in my dreams this evening.

Thank you.

` i loveee <3 iits.>> it soun hottt>.

Beautiful, Amy.

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Ti's beautiful Amy.it's complexity is put forth with simplicity which makes the read all the more compelling.

bit of a critique you say?
with humble thoughts,
i will, if i may ?

might mix up the first two lines
with the last two ,

IE:
in sleepless dream ,she flies.
in cloudless sky, she dreams.

last two:

within a sleepless dream,she dreams
of the cloudless skies ,she flies.

just an opinion ,non other.

me.

...It made me wish to be there too in a swirl of mystical fantasy...the only critique I would offer is "She sees through hawk's sky eyes beyond all time"...a lot of the letter "s" to wrap your tongue around...even if it's read silently...I still "trip" when I get to that sentence...otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience

Nice use of alliteration. Interesting how a poem in the sky can evoke the sound of a creature of the ground. I like it.