Im 13 and I wrote it What do you think?

Question:If me and you were high in the sky
and you were hanging onto my hand for dear life
would i let go?
your screaming and yellig for me to pick you up
but would i listen?
or would my hatred of u come into my head
would i let go and watch u be dead
so as a better judgement i will wave goodbye
but as your on way down and you hit the ground
would i cry?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: If me and you were high in the sky
and you were hanging onto my hand for dear life
would i let go?
your screaming and yellig for me to pick you up
but would i listen?
or would my hatred of u come into my head
would i let go and watch u be dead
so as a better judgement i will wave goodbye
but as your on way down and you hit the ground
would i cry?

pwetty gud, the themes conveyed by the poem are a typical topic poets would often write about. Relationships is something that is a cliche of a topic amongst poems yet you did a god job in portraying the true complexities that exist amongst relationships and your depthful analysis of a key factor of relationships, which is forgiveness and repent is depicted well through this analogy of letting someone die by letting go of their hands, yet the language could of been a tad bit more descriptive but overall heaps gud!!!!

Hmm. It's very dark, but good.

It is semi- creepy if you want me to be honest...

u -> you

Emo

Well, not bad, but dark, but good.

It would be lame if you were two.

i dont think its good at all

Honestly? You desperately need grammar lessons. It's very awkward. You need to go back and check your spelling. It if you and I not me and you. You're not your, yelling, write out you capitalize I, rewrite the statement watch you be dead to something more clear. Try again. Don't stop writing just because I gave you some hard feedback. Take this as a compliment. You have some good ideas going and you need to work on them. Keep going.