Comment on Poetry?

Question:Memories Aren’t for the Faint of Heart

The lines have been drawn
And the ties have been broken
The floor creaks with a familiar whisper
As if screaming the agony of all the broken promises
I try to forgive
I try to forget
But the truth of your lies
Are always there to bring me back down to reality
Why can’t I forgive
Why can’t I forget

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Memories Aren’t for the Faint of Heart

The lines have been drawn
And the ties have been broken
The floor creaks with a familiar whisper
As if screaming the agony of all the broken promises
I try to forgive
I try to forget
But the truth of your lies
Are always there to bring me back down to reality
Why can’t I forgive
Why can’t I forget

Its beautiful..

my only have one problem..

"But the truth of your lies
Are always there to bring me back down to reality"

You should delete some words...

[The truth of your lies
bring me back down to reality]

hope this helps..

You have a talent !!!

poetry needs to be more meaningful than that (in my opinion) but it is fairly well written.

doesn't rhyme

nt gr8 but gd yeh

wow that was powerful..I could feel the emotion in it..very nice

what?????

Pretty good very from the heart and must be experience!

its really depressing but gud imagery =)

Great title. Seriously.

Niiiice the metaphors were put in the right structure, this is a very familiar situation thay most people can relate to, and you created a way to make it into a poem. Its very nice you have talent.