Rate my Jack and Jill puzzle poem?

Question:Jack and Jill

Puzzle:
Jack and Jill are found dead in a puddle
of water. Broken glass is strewn about.

Answer:
Jack and Jill came down the hill,
Fetching a pail of water;
Jack fell down and tripped up Jill,
His darling little daughter.

Up Jack got and then to wail,
"I've broke my crown glass glasses."
And Jill, in anger, kicked the pail,
Then fell dead in its splashes.

Jack's mind now was in a muddle;
He took the pail to kick it,
Then fell down lifeless in the puddle;
He, too, had kicked the bucket.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Jack and Jill

Puzzle:
Jack and Jill are found dead in a puddle
of water. Broken glass is strewn about.

Answer:
Jack and Jill came down the hill,
Fetching a pail of water;
Jack fell down and tripped up Jill,
His darling little daughter.

Up Jack got and then to wail,
"I've broke my crown glass glasses."
And Jill, in anger, kicked the pail,
Then fell dead in its splashes.

Jack's mind now was in a muddle;
He took the pail to kick it,
Then fell down lifeless in the puddle;
He, too, had kicked the bucket.

All that care, and all that craft,
I've never seen anything crazier.
To have it all end- you must be daft,
In such banal paranomasia.

Personally, I do not like your Jack and Jill puzzle poem. I think the original poem or nursery rhyme is great the way it is. Some things are best left alone!!!

I don't think anyone should have died in the Jack and Jill puzzle poem. Falling down is okay, but dying. That took it waaaay too far...lol

it seems like you have it in for jack and jill have they hurt you in any way

Very funny. There are several limericks about Jack and Jill. That poor couple!!