OK what do you think of my poem????

Question:Crescent sun
written by werewolf

This is exactly what happened,
This is how it all began.
I'll tell you how my troubles first started,
She was with another clan.
I am a werewolf,
This she already knew.
When i found out she was a vampire,
I thought it couldn't be true.
My love , she had betrayed me,
I was instantly enraged.
I felt like I was used,
I felt like I was caged.
There was nothing I could do,
I had a decision to make.
But I had to chose the right thing,
Or else my heart would break.
Rage had engulfed me,
And I didn't care anymore.
All I wanted was for her to hurt,
The person I once adored.
So I said I didn't love her,
Which was completely false.
That was when the life of mt angel ,
Was altogether lost.
It was all my fault,
She died over me.
All she wanted was my love,
Why couldn't I just see?
So she was a vampire,
But she wasn't the only one.
I vowed to get my revenge,
On that day of the crescent sun.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Crescent sun
written by werewolf

This is exactly what happened,
This is how it all began.
I'll tell you how my troubles first started,
She was with another clan.
I am a werewolf,
This she already knew.
When i found out she was a vampire,
I thought it couldn't be true.
My love , she had betrayed me,
I was instantly enraged.
I felt like I was used,
I felt like I was caged.
There was nothing I could do,
I had a decision to make.
But I had to chose the right thing,
Or else my heart would break.
Rage had engulfed me,
And I didn't care anymore.
All I wanted was for her to hurt,
The person I once adored.
So I said I didn't love her,
Which was completely false.
That was when the life of mt angel ,
Was altogether lost.
It was all my fault,
She died over me.
All she wanted was my love,
Why couldn't I just see?
So she was a vampire,
But she wasn't the only one.
I vowed to get my revenge,
On that day of the crescent sun.

And another one. I really like it too. And I liked the line you used with "The person I once adored." Came out Beautiful.
Congratulations on this one too.

First break it up into stanzas. Then, expand it, I want to see more. It seems like an epic poem. More details of the killing, more details of how the relationship started and especially why it had to end the way it did.

Great start. One of the best I've seen here in a while!

....I have not read any others, sorry.

eggs

I so think that your poem is a story, it sounds good like a peice of a longer poem. I think it could be a winner.